Interesting new insults

#1
If you're like me (and not an expert like Gunnery Sergeant Hartmann: http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jacket1.html ) you probably use the same insults most of the time.

This can get a touch boring both for yourself and the insultee/s, especially if you insult the same people on a daily basis as I do.

So I thought we could share new and interesting insults, which could be a useful resource for those with a less imaginative turn of phrase.

As a starter for ten I give you:

Insult: Cnut-bunny Definition: Like a cnut, but with big ears
 
#4
If bullsh*t was music then you sir would be orchestrating a brass band...

I hoped you wiped your arrse after you finished speaking...

ummm...
 
#5
How about... 'Are you going to be an arrsehole all your life, or will you be taking today off?' (My personal favourite)
 
#7
Theres always that old chestnut - 'Go home, your village is missing its idiot'.....
 
#10
"Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view!"

"I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh1t!"

"Don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce!"
 
#12
my ultimate fav is cnut when used with a pointing index finger and a stare with head approx 500mil in direction to the insultee going in the same direction as the hand used
 
#14
This could open up a whole new world! I very recently (today, actually) used a bostin' phrase I saw on ARRSE to a particularly incompetent colleague in a senior position who's reknowned for his biting ripostes. It was: "You're in line for the "Three-lips Award", chum, because you're a cünt and an half"!
Said colleague's jaw dropped with an audible clang onto his chest, he harrumphed around a bit and then left the room, with people giving me the thumbs-up. I fückin' loved it!

So! Get 'em in here, lasses 'n' lads, so's we all have the benefit!

MsG
 
#18
How about:

Don't assume!! It makes and ass out of U and Me!

Which bit of NO don't you understand?

Re-arrange the following to form a well known phrase: Off F*uck
 
#19
"I don't have Tourettes; you really are a fcuking cnut."

"You're a cum-stain on the Great Sheet of Life."

"Rooney thinks you're a fat, ugly cnut."

"Ronaldo thinks you're a greasy, cheating fcuker."
 
#20
GET YOUR FACE F*CKED CNUT.

always like to use that one.
 

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