Interesting new insults

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Tartan_Terrier, Jul 3, 2006.

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  1. If you're like me (and not an expert like Gunnery Sergeant Hartmann: ) you probably use the same insults most of the time.

    This can get a touch boring both for yourself and the insultee/s, especially if you insult the same people on a daily basis as I do.

    So I thought we could share new and interesting insults, which could be a useful resource for those with a less imaginative turn of phrase.

    As a starter for ten I give you:

    Insult: Cnut-bunny Definition: Like a cnut, but with big ears
  2. I've always been quite taken with, 'If you had another neurone, you'd be a plant!'
  3. One which is in use in my place is

    'If arrseholes could fly, this place would be an airport'
  4. If bullsh*t was music then you sir would be orchestrating a brass band...

    I hoped you wiped your arrse after you finished speaking...

  5. How about... 'Are you going to be an arrsehole all your life, or will you be taking today off?' (My personal favourite)
  6. To s superior Offr/SNCO - "If I called you a cnut I would be in the sh1t but it's ok if I just think it."
  7. Theres always that old chestnut - 'Go home, your village is missing its idiot'.....
  8. "You're an arrsehole; no, that's not true, arrseholes are useful.
  9. 'I must be a cnut, 'cause I'm surrounded by arrseholes and piss takers.'
  10. "Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view!"

    "I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh1t!"

    "Don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce!"
  11. Maybe you need to look at the title of the thread!!
  12. my ultimate fav is cnut when used with a pointing index finger and a stare with head approx 500mil in direction to the insultee going in the same direction as the hand used
  13. "Were you born daft, or did you take lessons?"
  14. This could open up a whole new world! I very recently (today, actually) used a bostin' phrase I saw on ARRSE to a particularly incompetent colleague in a senior position who's reknowned for his biting ripostes. It was: "You're in line for the "Three-lips Award", chum, because you're a cünt and an half"!
    Said colleague's jaw dropped with an audible clang onto his chest, he harrumphed around a bit and then left the room, with people giving me the thumbs-up. I fückin' loved it!

    So! Get 'em in here, lasses 'n' lads, so's we all have the benefit!

  15. I like that one Bugsy. Must remember to use that on my missus.