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Interesting Graces by Mr. Vice?

Little while ago wr had a new Serjeant join the Mess; I've known him for a long time and he asked my advice as to what he should do for Grace at his first function.

He is a Hindu and so I suggested that he gave a Hindu Grace - which he did, in Sanskrit so it was probably some thousands of years old. It was sung rather than spoken and at the end of it, the entire Mess said "Amen".

Which made me laugh.

Any other notables?
Rub-a-dub-dub thanks for the grub
get it down your necks and get to the pub


Lord, we thank you for this dinner
without this food we'd be much thinner
Loads of urban myths about graces by Mr Vice although in reality the last thing a newly promoted and nervous Sgt wants to do is potentially feel the wrath of the RSM by trying to be witty but actually being insulting and disrespectful.

I have heard nervous Sgts say:

'For what we are bout to ceive may the Lord be truely thankful' (RSM then asked why the Lord should be thankful?)

and more recently:

'errr, errr, errr errr'

When I was Mr Vice I did the Corps grace, didnt feel very well all the way through the meal and didnt eat, did the toasts then legged it to be sick. SSM followed me out and bollocked me for being pished, I vom'd again, he went back to the bar and I went to bed.
Next day I rang the RSM to apologise and he said it wasnt a problem, most of the unit had now gone down with whatever I had. Environmental people came round and turd specimens were taken, turns out it was something in the Norgie of rice pudding that we'd had on the ranges.


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Padre at an Officer's Mess Dinner Night in Field Hospital:

"In ancient times they used to sacrifice wine meat and virgins, We have wine meat and... anyway thank God!"

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