Interesting Graces by Mr. Vice?

Discussion in 'Seniors' started by Bravo_Bravo, Jan 3, 2009.

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  1. Little while ago wr had a new Serjeant join the Mess; I've known him for a long time and he asked my advice as to what he should do for Grace at his first function.

    He is a Hindu and so I suggested that he gave a Hindu Grace - which he did, in Sanskrit so it was probably some thousands of years old. It was sung rather than spoken and at the end of it, the entire Mess said "Amen".

    Which made me laugh.

    Any other notables?
  2. DPM

    DPM Old-Salt

    The padre's not here - thank God...

  3. Lord, we give thanks for the grub and the pop,
    But can we get fed before the cnuts at the top?
  4. From an American Officer of our detachment under command:

    Good drink, good meat

    Thank God, let's eat
  5. oldbaldy

    oldbaldy LE Moderator Good Egg (charities)
    1. Battlefield Tours

    By a padre when the pre dinner went on far too long

    'Tuck in, Amen'.
  6. Lord

    Bless these sinners as they scoff their dinners

  7. ''For God's sake,begin''
  8. Rub-a-dub-dub thanks for the grub
    get it down your necks and get to the pub


    Lord, we thank you for this dinner
    without this food we'd be much thinner
  9. "3, 2, 1, go."

    Courtesy of the Rt Rev Bishop of Truro.
  10. Jesus Christ, O Lord Divine,
    Who turned the water into wine,
    Please, we pray, bless these foolish men,
    Who want to turn it back again.
  11. Loads of urban myths about graces by Mr Vice although in reality the last thing a newly promoted and nervous Sgt wants to do is potentially feel the wrath of the RSM by trying to be witty but actually being insulting and disrespectful.

    I have heard nervous Sgts say:

    'For what we are bout to ceive may the Lord be truely thankful' (RSM then asked why the Lord should be thankful?)

    and more recently:

    'errr, errr, errr errr'

    When I was Mr Vice I did the Corps grace, didnt feel very well all the way through the meal and didnt eat, did the toasts then legged it to be sick. SSM followed me out and bollocked me for being pished, I vom'd again, he went back to the bar and I went to bed.
    Next day I rang the RSM to apologise and he said it wasnt a problem, most of the unit had now gone down with whatever I had. Environmental people came round and turd specimens were taken, turns out it was something in the Norgie of rice pudding that we'd had on the ranges.
  12. Dear Lord, we thank you this day for curry and rice, and also for spamming me with Mr Vice. Amen
  13. BuggerAll

    BuggerAll LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Padre at an Officer's Mess Dinner Night in Field Hospital:

    "In ancient times they used to sacrifice wine meat and virgins, We have wine meat and... anyway thank God!"