Interesting Beastings Gents?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Morty, Jul 19, 2006.

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  1. Whats the most interesting/notorious/original/funniest etc beasting anyone's ever encountered? Just so i'm sort of prepared...
  2. prepared for what? what happened to others 10,20 or 30+ years ago will not happen to you.
  3. or just so your sort of ready to publish.....
  4. Well I can remember once when I had commited some henious military crime or other the resulting punishment was awful.

    I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day on stag and pay guard commander for permission to come to work, and when we got back to the block, our Lcpl and our Tp Sgt would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.

    And you try and tell the young people of today that ..... they won't believe you.

    With apologies to M. Python and co.
  5. I was forced to go on guard at an ungodly hour, during winter and wearing nothing more than issued combat clothing.

    There was no gucci softy jackets for me I can tell you.

    Then I was shot in the head.

    Mind you it was Deepcut.
  6. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Fixed. No charge.

  7. I'll bite.....

    On one occassion I recall a punch-up in Farnborogh when I was a member of a visiting boxing team @Para depot. The duty officer was a WO2 APTC & he took the lot of us on a gym session.........@2AM!! (nothing in the book//no RTU's)

    On another I was rudely awoken by what I thought was a civvie instructor in a nissan hut in Snowdonia. i told him to F*** off & found myself flying through an open window into an icy stream outside. The bloke was an adv trg Sgt from my own regiment but I was a nig & didn't know him (long 'air an' all that!)

    Moral of the story; Keep yer gob shut & don't draw attention to yerself!
  8. The original version gets more journos prematuring into their stained Y fronts though.
  9. Luxury. We weren't allowed to go to bed for 10 years, and when we did it were bed 'o nails, wi' Guard Commander jumping on our backs. We drank sulphuric acid flavoured with dog sick, and had to eat each others turds fo' NAAFI break. On t' ranges we had to spit bullets at target and cellotape bayonets t' knobs fo' bayonet fighting. CGS and CDS would kill us, once each, dismember our corpses and then piss ont graves singing 'she'll be coming round t' mountain'; and second PUS billed us f't privilidge.

    And you try telling that to the fishing journalists of today.....they won't believe you.
  10. You're not serious, are you?
  11. [anorkak]M Python had cause to apologise to (IIRC) the Frost Report, in which the skit was first performed/broadcast.[/anorak]

    The best bestings are the simplest.
  12. Excellent chaps. I feel so much more prepared! And it just so happens that sulphuric acid flavoured with dog sick is one of my favourite apperitifs!

    I'll stop asking these type of questions, I keep being accused of being a journo! :roll:
  13. Well, I'll never forgot that time I was late for parade at BATUS, in Canada. The fcking RSM made me double back to Germany as a punishment.
  14. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    A nashty man, wearing white shorts and a white singlet with wed piping, once made me wun
    a wery wery long way. And he shouted at me :crying:
  15. A 'singlet'? Was this: 1. In 1922? 2. Are you really that posh? or 3. Do you mean a PT vest?