Insurgent Tactics in Iraq

Discussion in 'Current Affairs, News and Analysis' started by Bert, May 10, 2004.

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  1. Angels

    0 vote(s)
  2. Grenade-dropping doves

    0 vote(s)
  3. Huge Spiders

    0 vote(s)
  1. ??? I say we need proof! :lol:
  2. lets ask piers morgan if he has some proof?

    that ought to clear it up for us all!
  3. I suspect that Col Jawad may have forgotten to take his medication....

    Mind you, many people in this country who voted for New Labour believed in considerably more bizarre ideas, such as Tony Bliar's ability to successfully run the country.
  4. Surely VB no one was that stupid?
  5. Huge spiders, angels and grenade dropping doves?

    Isn't there anything in the LOAC that bans that?

    Have AI demanded an Independant and impartial investigation? (or maybe that's the job of the RSPCA)

    The main thing is that the dogs don't start shooting back we'd be well outnumbered then :lol:
  6. the septics called a truce to prevent further blood shed (their own) in this, the US election year and because theyre shite. :D
  7. Well said, old GB decided that too many bodies coming home would scupper his chances. So wait until after the next election and then off they go! More bodies in coffins!
  8. so nothing to do with:

    maybe this belongs in the "QM's and Kit" - how can we procure grenade-dropping doves, giant tarantula's and angels at short notice in the future?

    from a civil servants persective, are the Armed Forces going to claim that they fall under the remit of PSYOPS or do the MOD finally have a reason to make sweeping cuts against the RAF ("Grenade-dropping doves negate the need for the RAF. No, no maintenance costs so to speak"), the RAC ("We've known since the Cold War that the primary role of big spiders was to kill Tanks, now that they're huge enough we can dispense with heavy armour once and for all") and Angels ("Just like the TA. When they're needed we just pray for them. But without the associated difficulties - issues about pay, feed, admin and training are fully outsourced")

    <Bert laughs>
  9. the Lord, what ever his name according to your religeon, works in myterious ways my friend :wink:
  10. I heard we have already procured grenade dropping doves but due to a mix up in the procurement chain the were bought without the correct feathers and are not able to operate when there are clouds in the sky.

    They are stored in the MOD's own dove cote - which at a cost of $23.000.000 is all weather protected.
  11. Your premise is quite incorrect. Clearly these new weapons would all come within the remit of the RAF, which could be expanded considerably.

    The dove can only be used as a weapons platform after training. The RAF Homing Training Sqn would be created to cater for this. More armourers would be needed to attach the grenades to the pigeons, and personnel to feed the birds, and to operate those trucks with lots of flaps on the sides. The Treasury would be pleased since MOD would have a nice sideline in organic pigeon-shit manure.

    Col Jawad's recognition skills were clearly not up to scratch. According to the much respected 'Jane's Fighting Crustaceans', the 'huge spiders' were in fact enormous crabs, an up-armoured version of the giant crabs previously operated by the RAF Regt. Tactically, they are particularly useful in pincer movements.

    The Angels are naturally RAF. Just like helicopters, only the smaller version (cherub), is operated by the AAC. Cherubs are equipped only with arrows, whilst Angels are operated in various roles. The Army procured a slightly larger version, Seraphim, but these have been mothballed. Guardian Angel is the AWACS variant, Dark Angel for night ops, the larger Archangel transport and the feared ground-attack version, the Angel of Death, equipped with HARP. Angels, of course, are the original two-winged master race.

    It must be true, I saw pictures of them in the Daily Mirror! :lol:
  12. Well, for starters, you need to find an NSN for "Doves, Grenade-dropping",
    or "Tarantualas, giant". You will then phone up for availability, to find out that they are "Limited", ie you cant have them if you need them, because somebody else might need them, or be given a comedy delivery forecast that is permanently six months in the future, like a kind of mirage.
    Alternatively you could put in for a "Local Purchase", and fill in enough paperwork for the Trident Procurement program.
  13. <Bert laughs>
  14. 28 - 0 and counting (final score pending)

    so what did these insurgents outside of the 'sunni triangle' lack - "dove, grenade dropping", "spider, huge", or maybe even "Angel, intervention divine"

    I think Col Jawad was really onto something...

    <Bert shakes his head in disbelief>