Inspector Knacker again

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by fencer90, Aug 29, 2012.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Please read something I intend to send to my MP it will probably do no good at all . However is it accurate and is it justified , you lot will know .


    Dear Dominic

    I read in my Telegraph yesterday that Essex Constabulary spent many hours over the last couple of days chasing a non existant "Big Cat" around bits of Essex.

    A silly season story no doubt but one that has a slightly sinister side. The Officer shown in the Telegraph is carrying a Heckler and Koch G36 Assault Rifle, it appears to be the K version (short) . This weapon is chambered for the 5.56 x 45 mm Nato standard round and is designed for use in a high intensity battlefield envoiroment ,where its capacity for firing 750 rounds per minute is considered useful.

    You will also notice that the officer in the photograph has taped together two 30 round box magazines , a practice originating in the Vietnam War because the US Army M16 had half the magazine capacity of the Soviet Supplied AK series Assault Weapons used by the North VIetnamese . It is of course standard practice in most action adventure films of the last 20 years.

    So innapropriate choice of weapon , theatrical mounting of ammunition (Unless of course the cat was not alone and was tooled up for an insurgency). When is someone going to straighten these Firearms Departments out . Their record of shooting both themselves and innocent bystanders is a national joke or it would be if it was not so serious . The mindset behind this is the important thing , you would not find any of the Armed Forces behaving like this , they know better. The Police have access to the Malcom Cooper designed L96 sniper rifle (or its derivatives) 7.62 I agree but it fires one at a time and will hit something the size of a cats eye at 500 m consistantly. Probably doesnt look the part though does it ..............

    I know most people would consider I have an axe to grind , dont take my word for it , go and ask the Army they know the correct way to deal with these matters.
     
  2. To the hole!
     
  3. Forastero

    Forastero LE Moderator

    Moved from CA. It's lucky to get this far..
     
  4. Dear uniformed member of the public,

    Thank you for your letter. Your observations caused many a laugh in the office at some of your ludicrous suggestions. Whilst an assault rifle is indeed designed for the battlefield and you may feel it inappropriate it is necessary as police firearms officers cannot always tell what they'll be walking into. Could the Chief Constable possibly borrow the crystal ball you're using to suitably predict the course of events which leads you to believe that a single chamber sniper rifle is required?

    I was appalled to hear that our police officers are regularly shooting innocent bystanders and themselves, I'll make sure I confer with colleagues in America and Brazil as I'm sure they are beacons of excellence in appropriate fire and not shooting up whole neighbourhoods. As for police officers taping up magazines, shocking I know. Obviously they should behave like soldiers and keep their magazines untaped, afterall is not like they're professionals who might know what they're doing.

    I've passed your concerns onto the Chief constable and once your letter has been retrieved from the rubbish bin I'm sure he'll call you to offer some consultancy work with the force. Or failing that have you thought of being one of the non entities currently putting themselves forward to be a elected police and crime commissioner?

    Yours Dominic
     
    • Like Like x 7
  5. Apparently the lion was not alone, it was seen climbing into a wardrobe with a witch.
     
    • Like Like x 3

  6. Come on now, that's not how this works, you're not supposed to use common sense and reasoning.
     
  7. OldSnowy

    OldSnowy LE Moderator Book Reviewer

    It was obviously a particularly clever lion, as the Essex Constabulary were warning that people should stay indoors and "lock their doors".
     
    • Like Like x 2
  8. Thanks for the reply

    1./ They knew they were looking for a cat not Alki Ada and its like .

    2./ They are not professional and a proportion of them don't know what they are doing. Go and look on the IPCC website if you want proof not hearsay.

    3./ It is about time Chief Officers were put back in their box and pursued policies the ELECTORATE want not their own agendas. Go on the ACPO Site they think they own the place...

    Once again thanks for the trouble to answer
    k
     
  9. Surely the plod were aware what they were facing? A lion by all accounts, which became a large domestic cat or wild cat. Good trick that, 500kg or so of lion to 30-40kg(?) of wild cat.
    That aside, I have been reliably informed that 5.56 will mightily piss off a lion, but that's all. Unless you fire into its open mouth as it makes it's final leap. Whilst emptying your bowel and bladder.
    The worst piece of weapon handling I have ever seen was by two policemen in Stansted. PC1 is chatting to cleaner, hands across chest and HK. PC2 sneaks up behind PC1 and attempts to steal pistol. Fuckwit. PC 1 barely notices, then turns, no rush to seem what is happening. Two coppers, 4 firearms, 0 brain cells. Oh well, it was only a departure lounge...
     
  10. Ok I'm going to bite:

    1. The police G36 rifles have the single shot trigger group fitted.
    2. 9mm ammo isn't very effective against most modern body armour, which is readily available, 5.56 ammo is reasonably capable of putting an armour clad yardie/ terrorist/ nutter on their arrse.
    3. Considering a lion is going to be lying low in the shrubbery, if you come across this 300lb feline, who is probably hungry and pumped up on adrenaline, what would you rather have, a semi- automatic assault rifle or a bolt action sniper rifle.
    4. I'd guess that the mags clipped together is personal choice, that said the G36 mags have lugs built in which allows this method of carriage.
     
  11. My replies in bold.

    I suggest you actually do some research next time or at least know what you're talking about.
     
  12. Not as daft as you'd imagine.

    A 'locked' door is a closed door. It requires a definitive action to make it 'locked', and indeed 'unlocked'.

    A 'pushed to' door is esentially an open door.
     
  13. H and K supply an optional snail shell type magazine if you need greater capacity , The Bundeswehr use them.

    You are supposed to call a vet with tranquilisers or humane killer (Thames Valley SOP says so anyway.)

    I dont remember the litany of table leg carriers , fag lighter carriers Electricians , Naked men in bed , each other that Knacker has managed to kill and injure being echoed by the Army or maybe they keep it secret.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  14. Go on then, 'fess up, what were you 'wrongly' nicked for?
     
    • Like Like x 2
  15. FORMER_FYRDMAN

    FORMER_FYRDMAN LE Book Reviewer

    Dear Member of the Public,

    Unless you are have wide experience of shooting African wildlife, and the Essex Police do not operate in Brixton, you will find that taking on a lion with a bolt action rifle is a very dodgy proposition if it decides to charge you.

    An adult lion weighs around 500 pounds and can achieve speeds of up to 50 mph over short distances. An inexperienced marksman will inevitably shoot high initially unless he drops down to the level of the animal, which is not a skill we focus on in the war against crime and not an approach that the officer will think to adopt in the short time before the animal arrives to break his neck with a single blow from a paw capable of knocking down a fully grown zebra. We therefore consider that an automatic fire capability is appropriate in this instance.

    Protect and serve,

    Essex Plod.