insects

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#1
Its insects time.

Pissed up wasps what have been eating fruit.

Fruitflies. What the frock are they all about?

Big dying bumble bees chucked out of the hive to die.

The start of those huge brown spiders who come to live in the house for winter.

Ticks in the heather. Horrible little twunts.

and my personal favourite, wolf spiders. Small, fast and perfectly formed. They dont make webs and are no hassle.
 
#5
Markintime said:
TheIronDuke said:
Its insects time.
Big dying bumble bees chucked out of the hive to die.
They have been unable to find pollen to fuel their return to the hive. If you place some heavily sugared water next to them they can refuel and will then recover and fly off.
Or stamp on them.
 
#6
theiftaker said:
Markintime said:
TheIronDuke said:
Its insects time.
Big dying bumble bees chucked out of the hive to die.
They have been unable to find pollen to fuel their return to the hive. If you place some heavily sugared water next to them they can refuel and will then recover and fly off.
Or stamp on them.
Well, the spiders anyway.
 
#8
TheIronDuke said:
Fruitflies. What the frock are they all about?
Time flies like an arrow - fruit flies like bananas.

TheIronDuke said:
The start of those huge brown spiders who come to live in the house for winter.
Spiders are arachnids not insects.

They are varieties of Tegenaria - House Spiders. They don't come indoors in late summer/autumn - they're indoors all the time. What you're seeing are randy male spiders going out on the pull. The biggest - Tegeneria parietina - can be up to 4 inches across - the prospect of something that size scuttling across the floor puts the shits up me anyway :lol:
 
#9
Right as the pedants and the entomologists have come out to play i will clarify the following. The Spiders are as has already been said Arachnids. However the ones we see running about are 'not coming in for the winter'. They are male Tegenaria and are looking for a shag. Their breeding season is typically during September which is when you will see the vast majority of them. Even though they freak me out spare a thought for them. They have to search out cubby holes and such places to find a receptive female. If the female is not 'up for it' or just suffering from the spidey equivalent of PMT she will kill the male.

Bumble Bees, wasps etc are screwed once the cold weather comes. Only the recently mated queens can hibernate and survive the winter. Only honey bees can survive the winter as they have a manufactured food source, honey.

However what would really screw our amorous eight legged friend’s chances is what is happening in Colchester or wherever it was where that guy brought home a Camel Spider in his kitbag! Serious competition, which would simply devour anything up to a house mouse.

I know this whole post is sad.
 
#10
Trooper! said:
Even though they freak me out spare a thought for them. They have to search out cubby holes and such places to find a receptive female. If the female is not 'up for it' or just suffering from the spidey equivalent of PMT she will kill the male.
All of that applies equally to squaddies on the pish in Chatham.
 
#11
Trooper! said:
Right as the pedants and the entomologists have come out to play i will clarify the following. The Spiders are as has already been said Arachnids. However the ones we see running about are 'not coming in for the winter'. They are male Tegenaria and are looking for a shag. Their breeding season is typically during September which is when you will see the vast majority of them. Even though they freak me out spare a thought for them. They have to search out cubby holes and such places to find a receptive female. If the female is not 'up for it' or just suffering from the spidey equivalent of PMT she will kill the male.

Bumble Bees, wasps etc are screwed once the cold weather comes. Only the recently mated queens can hibernate and survive the winter. Only honey bees can survive the winter as they have a manufactured food source, honey.

However what would really screw our amorous eight legged friend’s chances is what is happening in Colchester or wherever it was where that guy brought home a Camel Spider in his kitbag! Serious competition, which would simply devour anything up to a house mouse.

I know this whole post is sad.
My bold. Its on MoodyBitch's estate apparently. NOT a happy teddy bear!
 
#12
still21inmymind said:
Trooper! said:
Right as the pedants and the entomologists have come out to play i will clarify the following. The Spiders are as has already been said Arachnids. However the ones we see running about are 'not coming in for the winter'. They are male Tegenaria and are looking for a shag. Their breeding season is typically during September which is when you will see the vast majority of them. Even though they freak me out spare a thought for them. They have to search out cubby holes and such places to find a receptive female. If the female is not 'up for it' or just suffering from the spidey equivalent of PMT she will kill the male.

Bumble Bees, wasps etc are screwed once the cold weather comes. Only the recently mated queens can hibernate and survive the winter. Only honey bees can survive the winter as they have a manufactured food source, honey.

However what would really screw our amorous eight legged friend’s chances is what is happening in Colchester or wherever it was where that guy brought home a Camel Spider in his kitbag! Serious competition, which would simply devour anything up to a house mouse.

I know this whole post is sad.
My bold. Its on MoodyBitch's estate apparently. NOT a happy teddy bear!
Let's hope he didn't bring a breeding pair home - with global warming and all that...
 
#14
still21inmymind said:
Trooper! said:
Right as the pedants and the entomologists have come out to play i will clarify the following. The Spiders are as has already been said Arachnids. However the ones we see running about are 'not coming in for the winter'. They are male Tegenaria and are looking for a shag. Their breeding season is typically during September which is when you will see the vast majority of them. Even though they freak me out spare a thought for them. They have to search out cubby holes and such places to find a receptive female. If the female is not 'up for it' or just suffering from the spidey equivalent of PMT she will kill the male.

Bumble Bees, wasps etc are screwed once the cold weather comes. Only the recently mated queens can hibernate and survive the winter. Only honey bees can survive the winter as they have a manufactured food source, honey.

However what would really screw our amorous eight legged friend’s chances is what is happening in Colchester or wherever it was where that guy brought home a Camel Spider in his kitbag! Serious competition, which would simply devour anything up to a house mouse.

I know this whole post is sad.
My bold. Its on MoodyBitch's estate apparently. NOT a happy teddy bear!
Is she ever happy?
 
#15
Spiders are fcukin ace, anything that prey's on flies is good in my book. However, wasps!, fcukin'ell, ive just had to smash fcuk out of a big bastard in my bathroom so my 10 yr old can brush her teeth in peace.
All wasps get the good news from me, ever since one stung me in the back couple of years ago. PAINFULL :x

Incidentally, do wasps have any purpose, as in- Bee's=honey, Spiders=....erm...films? or summat. :oops:
 
#16
ts insects time.

Pissed up wasps what have been eating fruit.

Fruitflies. What the frock are they all about?

Big dying bumble bees chucked out of the hive to die.

The start of those huge brown spiders who come to live in the house for winter.

Ticks in the heather. Horrible little twunts.

and my personal favourite, wolf spiders. Small, fast and perfectly formed. They dont make webs


Very poetic. 8/10.
 
#20
I'm sorry guys, but insects? We just had our first of our black bear sightings... and the kind folks at the Ministry have now told us all how to deal with them...



Every encounter with a black bear is unique. Experts recommend the following tips and advice. There is no guarantee that what works in one instance will work in another. (way to limit your liabilty for giving out duff advice Dalton)



Avoid encounters:



Make noise as you move through wooded areas – especially in areas where visibility is restricted or where background noise is high, such as near streams and waterfalls. Singing, whistling or talking will alert bears to your presence, giving them a chance to avoid you (or eat you)
While outdoors, keep your eyes and ears open: (sure I always stumble around in the woods with my eyes closed)

Do not wear music headphones
Watch for signs of bear activity, like tracks, claw marks on trees, flipped-over rocks or fresh bear droppings
If you are out with a dog, leash it. Uncontrolled, untrained dogs may actually lead a bear to you (a very pissed off bear I might add)
Pay attention, especially if you are undertaking activities like working, gardening or berry picking. Occasionally scan your surroundings to check for bears. Rise slowly from your crouched position so you don’t startle any nearby bears. They may not recognize you as a human when you are in a crouched position (that would be a first.. to be recognized as a human...whoohoo me)



Think about safety:



Carry and have readily accessible a whistle or an air horn (sure carry one all the time while I stroll around my backyard)
Learn how to carry and use bear pepper spray. Know its limitations (this is not your gasgasgas situ)
If you are in “back country” consider carrying a long-handled axe (so I can kill myself first? )



Whenever you spot or encounter a black bear:



Stop. Do not panic. Remain calm (uh huh.. sure that'll work every time)
Do not try to get closer to the bear for a better look or picture. Never feed a bear
Do not run, climb a tree or swim (just wait for it to maul you, it'll be over faster)
Quickly assess the situation and try to determine which type of an encounter this might be – sighting, surprise or close encounter (and there's a difference how again? )
Always watch the bear. While watching the bear, slowly back away until the bear is out of sight (sure so the other bear that is with them can sneak up on you or eat your dog that you foolishly let off the leash to run for help)
If you are near a building or vehicle get inside as a precaution (how about just staying out the of the woods period)
If you are berry picking, or enjoying other outdoor activities like hiking, jogging cycling or camping leave the area (and leave the berries you spent hours collecting too...)
Tell others about bear activity in the area (sure, why not be the first on your block to be mauled...)

I'll take a spider any day...
 

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