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Inner Peace

#1
Passing this on to you lot because it definitely works!

We could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following the simple
advice heard on the radio, have finally found inner peace.

The phone in show was talking about the stress of work and pressures of life. The pundit said: "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started and never finished."

So I looked around my gaff for all the things I started and hadn't
finished. Before leaving for my shift, I finished off the remaining half bottle of Merlot, most of a rather amusing but coy White Zinfandel, dregs of the Bailey's Irish Cream topped with a bracing but gob-cleansing tumbler of Bombay Sapphire Gin, a packet of Jaffa Cakes, the remaining tablets from my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, the somewhat stale but still entertaining Doritos, a large box of Thorntons chocolates, the few slices of cold Pizza in the oven, the Vallium my Mum left on her last visit and some Listerine mouthwash although now I come to think about it you are supposed to spit that out.

Getting some odd looks but you have no idea how bloody good I feel! !!! The man is a Genius!
 
#3
Oh god does that mean i have to finish explaining to my nine year old daughter that yes the dog is a boy but doesnt have any dangly bits, how exactly is that gonna be stress free?
 

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