Injuries you cant be proud of

Geordie_Blerk said:
shortfuse said:
Just going off at a slight tangent, which regiment/corps can boast the biggest (illegal, ie non war situation) topper of people...

Army Catering Corps don't count, they were all blue on blue food poisoning.

Didn't my beloved RE have some jock nutter fond of snuffing the odd dolly before offing himself in spectacularly inept fashion?


I myself find the muscular spasms of a dying childs sphincter the only way I can find release these days...I blame it on exposure to RODOX18 as a Junior Leader.
Was that not the lad who decided to nab himself 1/2 of a pair of ginger twins? If I remember fondly it was New Year's Eve a couple of years ago.

Didn't the sapper assailant go out in a blaze of glory?
Apparently 5 litres of Benz, and out of the hotel window,..... 2 somersaults, 1 half pike, and entered the roof of the rover 200 in the car park with barely a ripple.
 
Didn't some chef off a little girl in the 70's in Aldershot?

They only caught him in the 90's due to the DNA era.

I think she was a ginger aswell - are they cold murderers...or actually doing society a great service by ridding us of these gwar cnuts?
 
Moodybitch said:
Didn't some chef off a little girl in the 70's in Aldershot?

They only caught him in the 90's due to the DNA era.

I think she was a ginger aswell - are they cold murderers...or actually doing society a reat service by ridding us of these gwar cnuts?
No, they found traces of her in a pie still sitting on the hotplate at Rhine Barracks in 1996, and traced it back to him being duty sloppo 23 years earlier.
 
shortfuse said:
Moodybitch said:
Didn't some chef off a little girl in the 70's in Aldershot?

They only caught him in the 90's due to the DNA era.

I think she was a ginger aswell - are they cold murderers...or actually doing society a reat service by ridding us of these gwar cnuts?
No, they found traces of her in a pie still sitting on the hotplate at Rhine Barracks in 1996, and traced it back to him being duty sloppo 23 years earlier.
He would have got away with it too, if it wasn't for that single ginger pube poking out the top.
 
I know, they initially tried to pin the stray pube on some ginger wretch from 7RHA, but he was away on course at the time so the RMP were called in.
 

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shortfuse said:
Just going off at a slight tangent, which regiment/corps can boast the biggest (illegal, ie non war situation) topper of people...

Army Catering Corps don't count, they were all blue on blue food poisoning.
Now that's a real shame, as it rules out Pte Nilsen, D. He must surely be up there with MDN in the number of batty boys beaten brainless.

If no ACC, then my vote goes to Brig Dyer at Amritsar :)
 
Sluice_dweller said:
What about the Para who killed his wife and her lesbian lover and then threw himself of the multi story car park in Aldershot back in mid 90's.

Sluice
Ahhhh, Olive, a true Airborne groupie to the end.
 
And don't forget the 2 dog walkers who were murdered on Hungry Hill back in the 80's.

An RLC blerk went to prison for years as he fessed up to it. Only recently did it become apparent that he wasn't the murderer, he just wanted the attention from the police and media.

So, whodunnit?
 
Moodybitch said:
And don't forget to 2 dog walkers who were murdered on Hungry Hill back in the 80's.

An RLC blerk went to prison for years as he fessed up to it. Only recently did it become apparent that he wasn't murderer, he just wanted the attention from the police and media.

So, whodunnit?
Look, it was one of those things that just gets out of hand.

All I wanted to do was let the dog slavver over my balls. The owner and her partner walked past and got a sad on.

Jesus, how was I to know a Stanley blade across their abdomens would kill them?

The dog was a right stunner though.
 
Geordie_Blerk said:
Moodybitch said:
And don't forget to 2 dog walkers who were murdered on Hungry Hill back in the 80's.

An RLC blerk went to prison for years as he fessed up to it. Only recently did it become apparent that he wasn't murderer, he just wanted the attention from the police and media.

So, whodunnit?
Look, it was one of those things that just gets out of hand.

All I wanted to do was let the dog slavver over my balls. The owner and her partner walked past and got a sad on.

Jesus, how was I to know a Stanley blade across their abdomens would kill them?

The dog was a right stunner though.
Where were you last summer?

There was a rape in the woods behind the driver training area, ending when he tried to off her by cutting her throat.....Aldershot, it's a fcuking lovely place to live.
 
Wasnt the weekend of the army show was it.... i had a "black" period between about 1600 and 2000....

I dont remember being booked in to do "the lords work" that day though.
 
shortfuse said:
Wasnt the weekend of the army show was it.... i had a "black" period between about 1600 and 2000....

I dont remember being booked in to do "the lords work" that day though.
No mate it wasn't. I can vouch for your movements that day. Sadly they were your stomach movements as you expelled the days lager and pie 'n' chips all over my feet.
 
Moodybitch said:
Geordie_Blerk said:
Moodybitch said:
And don't forget to 2 dog walkers who were murdered on Hungry Hill back in the 80's.

An RLC blerk went to prison for years as he fessed up to it. Only recently did it become apparent that he wasn't murderer, he just wanted the attention from the police and media.

So, whodunnit?
Look, it was one of those things that just gets out of hand.

All I wanted to do was let the dog slavver over my balls. The owner and her partner walked past and got a sad on.

Jesus, how was I to know a Stanley blade across their abdomens would kill them?

The dog was a right stunner though.
Where were you last summer?

There was a rape in the woods behind the driver training area, ending when he tried to off her by cutting her throat.....Aldershot, it's a fcuking lovely place to live.
I definately can't claim that incident as one of mine.

"Tried" cutting her throat. That implies a failed task therefore it was obviously a civvie.

Was she fingered prior to the rape and what type of underwear did she have on (stained afterwards I presume)?
 
I don't think she had any underwear on - she was naked when someone found her. The whore.

I think she'd gone in the woods to smear Pedigree Chum on her bean for some "dog on master" action.

She clearly got more than she bargained for.....I saw the bloody aftermath, inconsiderate bi tch made a right mess.
 
I've been around in Aldershot for most of them dodgy murders, best I get a good brief and sharpish.
 

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