Ingenious inventions that are useless

Discussion in 'The Lamp and Sandbag II - The Tall Story Strikes B' started by Bugsy, Aug 19, 2006.

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  1. Almost every Sunday, I get a few small catalogues tucked into the weekend newspaper supplements which are chokka with incredible items meant to help you through your day or radically change your life, but are really a complete waste of fückin' time. On occasions, I've even been tempted to send off for stuff - like when I thought a solar-powered torch was the way forward! Duuhh!

    I mean, where do they get this shite from? Have they got a secret cadre of mad, Gene-Wilder-haired techno-scientists hidden away somewhere, to whom they then say: "OK, we need a gadget that perms your hair while your hurtling down the Cresta Run"? And these people then produce said improbable gadget?

    The bind moggles!

  2. Eurofighter springs to mind...
  3. Those bags the RAF have, you know the navy blue ones with Royal Air Force written on in gold surmounted by the Eagle. (despite that my sqn has aquired a couple of buckshee ones)

    Ingenious; whichever company decided to persuade the bigwigs that they needed them.

    Useless; why have a bag which proclaims RAF, when they wear a uniform, and why would you have a bag when going from Hangar to mess to block to hangar?
  4. I can't say I've ever seen Eurofighters offered in the catalogues I usually get, matelot, but maybe it's just a matter of time! :D :D :D

    But on the subject: there's a gadget out there (I'm sure) which will fit confortably into your flying helmet and give you a perfect "short-back-and-sides" whenever you press the titty marked "PSBAS". Cool, huh? However, if you misstakenly press the titty "RBTL" just a quarter-inch from it, a whirling blade descends and you get to (momentarily) wonder why they should include a button that "reduces your brain to liquid". But such are the decisions of the Ministry of Defiance (against all reasonable theories)! What a wonderful world we live in.

  5. Nehustan

    Nehustan On ROPs

    Can I throw in a disingenuous invention????

    New Labour.
  6. Na Stealth aircraft :eek:

    oh and those Nasa pens that can write on aluminium covered in pig fat while being held upside down - on £19.99 :lol:

  7. Oh good one :lol:
    They are in all the catalogues and only cost £100,000 a time, donations of course :lol:
  8. Nehustan

    Nehustan On ROPs

    Wow, they have honour catalogues now? I'll never wonder about presents again....

    (P.S. is £100,000 the levy? :twisted:)
  9. No - because playful eclecticism cannot be allowed to shade into willful obscurity - and you're full of it.
  10. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    Very witty, don't Lord it up.
  11. USA how much to develop the space pen ? $ = lots.

    After x years "we have the space pen" it can write upside down.

    Russia, "Ok comrade Cosmonautski take this soft wax crayon".
  12. Nehustan

    Nehustan On ROPs

    Obscure, that's unfair :( . For the record I have never voted for any other party than the Liberals. I did have a chat with a Tory councillor on my doorstep prior to the recent locals (in which I did not vote) and said that I'd see how the Tories fare (and live up to their current statements) in their first term, then I would consider voting for them. So currently eclectic would seem fair.

    I also recently had a Marxist friend tell me that the Tories are nothing more than 19th century Liberals, which he meant to dissuade me from previously stated position, but as it is 19th Century Liberalism I like, it didn't work :twisted:
  13. Being a "techno" kind of person, I actually bought (and still have, would you believe?) a "Fisher Pen". You really can write with it in any sort of environment and atmosphere on whatever surface whatsover. Believe me, I've tried it!

    In the meantime, I've found out that a 2B pencil will do the same trick every time too. So the 50 million dollaz or so that the American gobment decided to truck out for this, was money lobbed out the window. But why are we surprised?

  14. what the fcuk !

    Disguise unsightly drainpipes with these great flower pots. Adjustable and easily attached, they are ideal for brightening up small gardens. Made of durable polypropylene.

    Attached Files:

  15. the spork.