Informal Meal

#1
Just been posted to a new unit. Joy.

CO has invited me and future Mrs DMTW to dinner at his place. How best to accept invitation? Is there a specific text to be used?
 
#2
It used to be ...

[Rank and Name] and [her name]
Thank [CO and Mrs CO] for their kind invitation to
[what] at [time] on [date]
and have much pleasure in accepting.

These days, "Thanks, Boss, CU" may be acceptable as a career-limiting option.
 
#3
A previous CO fo mine sent out his invitations using DII. Then used to chastise anyone for RSVPing electronically.

What a great chap he was. So sad when he was moved on.....
 
#4
Nightmare! If you really want to marry this girl................go by yourself?

If you have to go:

1.Chat up Mrs CO (be careful not to go to far, she may fall for you).
2.Compliment him on his car, house, lifestyle etc.
3.Make his kids laugh.
4.Compliment Mrs CO on her kids.
5.Learn a clean, witty and topical joke to impress CO and your missus!
6.Leave before he hits the whiskey decanter.

Make sure you don't

1.Chat up his daughter.
2.Let you future Misses take the piss out of the Army.
3.Drink too much and sing an old school/rugby song.
4.Fart or burp loudly.
5.Share the whiskey with your new boss, upset both his and your misses, stay over because she's driven off in a rage, stay in his spare bedroom and leave a map of africa on the mattress for Mrs CO to find the next day..

Other than that it should be a great laugh!
 
#5
LtTrousersnake said:
Nightmare! If you really want to marry this girl................go by yourself?

If you have to go:

1.Chat up Mrs CO (be careful not to go to far, she may fall for you).
2.Compliment him on his car, house, lifestyle etc.
3.Make his kids laugh.
4.Compliment Mrs CO on her kids.
5.Learn a clean, witty and topical joke to impress CO and your missus!
6.Leave before he hits the whiskey decanter.

Make sure you don't

1.Chat up his daughter.
2.Let you future Misses take the urine out of the Army.
3.Drink too much and sing an old school/rugby song.
4.Fart or burp loudly.
5.Share the whiskey with your new boss, upset both his and your misses, stay over because she's driven off in a rage, stay in his spare bedroom and leave a map of africa on the mattress for Mrs CO to find the next day..

Other than that it should be a great laugh!
You can never tell .. feel the temperature of the water.

My first Boss [1-star] used to bring his son and daughter into the Mess on Saturday night. The son into shooting, as I was/am ... the daughter 17, part-time model. He used to call me over [being one of only 2 young officers in the Mess] and say "Look after these two, use my bar book ...". At closing time, back to the residence, attack his whisky, grope lovely daughter ... and then at 0100 he comes down and says "You still here? If you like it here that much, come to lunch tomorrow .. 1200".

Never did get into her knickers though .. too close to home, I suppose!
 
#6
Or do as a chap I heard about recently did;

Chap chatting to senior bod at an informal dinner.

Chap: I'll bet your daughter will be fit in a few years. ;)
SB: Get out
Mrs SB: :crying:
SB: My office. First thing.










Daughter was apparently 3 years old. :D
 
#8
The Lord Flasheart said:
Or do as a chap I heard about recently did;

Chap chatting to senior bod at an informal dinner.

Chap: I'll bet your daughter will be fit in a few years. ;)
SB: Get out
Mrs SB: :crying:
SB: My office. First thing.










Daughter was apparently 3 years old. :D
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Excellent!
 
#9
The Lord Flasheart said:
Or do as a chap I heard about recently did;
Chap chatting to senior bod at an informal dinner.
Chap: I'll bet your daughter will be fit in a few years. ;)
SB: Get out
Mrs SB: :crying:
SB: My office. First thing.
Daughter was apparently 3 years old. :D
:thumleft:
 

Auld-Yin

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#11
DontMentionTheWar said:
Just been posted to a new unit. Joy.

CO has invited me and future Mrs DMTW to dinner at his place. How best to accept invitation? Is there a specific text to be used?
If you new Boss logs on to Arrse you may have already responded!
 
#12
Auld-Yin said:
DontMentionTheWar said:
Just been posted to a new unit. Joy.
CO has invited me and future Mrs DMTW to dinner at his place. How best to accept invitation? Is there a specific text to be used?
If you new Boss logs on to Arrse you may have already responded!
Oh fook... poor bu**er ... no social skills, and publicly aired to boot!
 
#13
Knife in the right, fork in the left and do not drink the finger bowl.

But these things can be so strained if you do not know the bloke. Friend was invited to such a dinner, accepted and then found out such an invitation was often extended through clenched teeth.

Although nothing was said it was reckoned that you then had to work out as close as decently possible to the event if

(i) a pressing and credible crisis meant sadly withdrawing from the delightful evening.

(ii) you should turn up because likely all would go well

(iii) you turned up and invited some tetchy payback because he really never did want you to attend.

So

(i) when (ii) was expected ended up in the shite.

(ii) when (i) was expected ended up in the shite.

(iii) meant you were in the shite anyway

This was likened to being invited to dinner by Hannibal Lecter and it went as well as you might expect. A clear (iii)
 
#14
That is the curse of being an OC ... through convention having to invite such awful people into one's home, never expecting them to know how to behave ... and rarely being disappointed in that regard ... than clearing up afterwards and wondering what the Mem is going to do with another box of Black Magic or filling station flowers.
 
#15
Here's one: make sure you take a suitable gift for Mrs CO and choose it yourself.

A former CO invited a group of us subbies to dinner once. One of our number was out on the ranges until late and asked if we could sort something out for Mrs CO. Unfortunately he didn't check in advance what we had got him.

Cut to subbies on the doorstep of CO Towers and on entering being able to demonstrate our impeccable taste with well chosen wines, tasteful flowers and expensive chocks. Lo and behold young Shagnasty has to hand over a bottle of Blue Nun.

How we laughed.
 
#17
blue_sophist said:
Crazy_FOO said:
Lo and behold young Shagnasty has to hand over a bottle of Blue Nun.
Sorry ... when was this? Blue Nun was unacceptable in 1966, IIRC. this Rupert was buying it in .. when?

Better off with a Watney's Party 7 ...
You may well have been fortunate enough to serve in some more enlightened parts of the world. Tidworth in the 90s was not one of them and Blue Nun is definitely still available.

Looking back now I think turining up with a Watney's Party 7 would have shown considerable confidence and style. But then I ma now a crusty passed over old git.
 
#18
Crazy_FOO said:
blue_sophist said:
Crazy_FOO said:
Lo and behold young Shagnasty has to hand over a bottle of Blue Nun.
Sorry ... when was this? Blue Nun was unacceptable in 1966, IIRC. this Rupert was buying it in .. when?
Better off with a Watney's Party 7 ...
You may well have been fortunate enough to serve in some more enlightened parts of the world. Tidworth in the 90s was not one of them and Blue Nun is definitely still available.
Looking back now I think turining up with a Watney's Party 7 would have shown considerable confidence and style. But then I ma now a crusty passed over old git.
Enlightened .. no, just was part of an organisation that understood that Blue Nun was the equivalent of gas station flowers ... FFS, get some style going! ;-)
 
#19
blue_sophist said:
Crazy_FOO said:
blue_sophist said:
Crazy_FOO said:
Lo and behold young Shagnasty has to hand over a bottle of Blue Nun.
Sorry ... when was this? Blue Nun was unacceptable in 1966, IIRC. this Rupert was buying it in .. when?
Better off with a Watney's Party 7 ...
You may well have been fortunate enough to serve in some more enlightened parts of the world. Tidworth in the 90s was not one of them and Blue Nun is definitely still available.
Looking back now I think turining up with a Watney's Party 7 would have shown considerable confidence and style. But then I ma now a crusty passed over old git.
Enlightened .. no, just was part of an organisation that understood that Blue Nun was the equivalent of gas station flowers ... FFS, get some style going! ;-)
The point was that everyone else had the bottle of Sancerre, Bendicks mints, tasteful bouquet etc and the bloke who was late was given the Blue Nun to give the CO's wife. Geddit.
 
#20
blue_sophist said:
That is the curse of being an OC ... through convention having to invite such awful people into one's home, never expecting them to know how to behave ... and rarely being disappointed in that regard ... than clearing up afterwards and wondering what the Mem is going to do with another box of Black Magic or filling station flowers.
Oh Yes :thumright: . In BAOR I had all of the single Subbies and Captains round for Christmas Lunch. They turned up pissed, tooled up with water rifles including a couple for my kids and started a water battle in the dining room.

We got p1ssed as fatrs, ran out of booze as they were drinking like thirsty fish. Net result, all off the the Mess for more booze. At the Mess, for some reason we had a few more drinks! Oh and we held a trial by FGCM after putting one of the angels in the Mess Crib in close arrest for sleeping on duty!

Net result - sore heads and tummies all over and a scrape and repaint job in my front room. Oh and a very annoyed Mrs R-M!

Never again - until you feel an overwhelming sense of obligation to invite the burggers around again.
 

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