Informal Meal

Discussion in 'Officers' started by DontMentionTheWar, Feb 14, 2007.

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  1. Just been posted to a new unit. Joy.

    CO has invited me and future Mrs DMTW to dinner at his place. How best to accept invitation? Is there a specific text to be used?
  2. blue-sophist

    blue-sophist LE Good Egg (charities)

    It used to be ...

    [Rank and Name] and [her name]
    Thank [CO and Mrs CO] for their kind invitation to
    [what] at [time] on [date]
    and have much pleasure in accepting.

    These days, "Thanks, Boss, CU" may be acceptable as a career-limiting option.
  3. A previous CO fo mine sent out his invitations using DII. Then used to chastise anyone for RSVPing electronically.

    What a great chap he was. So sad when he was moved on.....
  4. Nightmare! If you really want to marry this girl................go by yourself?

    If you have to go:

    1.Chat up Mrs CO (be careful not to go to far, she may fall for you).
    2.Compliment him on his car, house, lifestyle etc.
    3.Make his kids laugh.
    4.Compliment Mrs CO on her kids.
    5.Learn a clean, witty and topical joke to impress CO and your missus!
    6.Leave before he hits the whiskey decanter.

    Make sure you don't

    1.Chat up his daughter.
    2.Let you future Misses take the piss out of the Army.
    3.Drink too much and sing an old school/rugby song.
    4.Fart or burp loudly.
    5.Share the whiskey with your new boss, upset both his and your misses, stay over because she's driven off in a rage, stay in his spare bedroom and leave a map of africa on the mattress for Mrs CO to find the next day..

    Other than that it should be a great laugh!
  5. blue-sophist

    blue-sophist LE Good Egg (charities)

    You can never tell .. feel the temperature of the water.

    My first Boss [1-star] used to bring his son and daughter into the Mess on Saturday night. The son into shooting, as I was/am ... the daughter 17, part-time model. He used to call me over [being one of only 2 young officers in the Mess] and say "Look after these two, use my bar book ...". At closing time, back to the residence, attack his whisky, grope lovely daughter ... and then at 0100 he comes down and says "You still here? If you like it here that much, come to lunch tomorrow .. 1200".

    Never did get into her knickers though .. too close to home, I suppose!
  6. Or do as a chap I heard about recently did;

    Chap chatting to senior bod at an informal dinner.

    Chap: I'll bet your daughter will be fit in a few years. ;)
    SB: Get out
    Mrs SB: :crying:
    SB: My office. First thing.

    Daughter was apparently 3 years old. :D
  7. The QM's daughter is always a better option! She's usually older and loves young officer todger!
  8. :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

  9. blue-sophist

    blue-sophist LE Good Egg (charities)

  10. blue-sophist

    blue-sophist LE Good Egg (charities)

    Delicate territory, though.

    Preferably done on another unit ....
  11. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    If you new Boss logs on to Arrse you may have already responded!
  12. blue-sophist

    blue-sophist LE Good Egg (charities)

    Oh fook... poor bu**er ... no social skills, and publicly aired to boot!
  13. Knife in the right, fork in the left and do not drink the finger bowl.

    But these things can be so strained if you do not know the bloke. Friend was invited to such a dinner, accepted and then found out such an invitation was often extended through clenched teeth.

    Although nothing was said it was reckoned that you then had to work out as close as decently possible to the event if

    (i) a pressing and credible crisis meant sadly withdrawing from the delightful evening.

    (ii) you should turn up because likely all would go well

    (iii) you turned up and invited some tetchy payback because he really never did want you to attend.


    (i) when (ii) was expected ended up in the shite.

    (ii) when (i) was expected ended up in the shite.

    (iii) meant you were in the shite anyway

    This was likened to being invited to dinner by Hannibal Lecter and it went as well as you might expect. A clear (iii)
  14. blue-sophist

    blue-sophist LE Good Egg (charities)

    That is the curse of being an OC ... through convention having to invite such awful people into one's home, never expecting them to know how to behave ... and rarely being disappointed in that regard ... than clearing up afterwards and wondering what the Mem is going to do with another box of Black Magic or filling station flowers.
  15. Here's one: make sure you take a suitable gift for Mrs CO and choose it yourself.

    A former CO invited a group of us subbies to dinner once. One of our number was out on the ranges until late and asked if we could sort something out for Mrs CO. Unfortunately he didn't check in advance what we had got him.

    Cut to subbies on the doorstep of CO Towers and on entering being able to demonstrate our impeccable taste with well chosen wines, tasteful flowers and expensive chocks. Lo and behold young Shagnasty has to hand over a bottle of Blue Nun.

    How we laughed.