Had a ' business meeting ' to go to.. held at one of those toney/trendy upscale restaurants...hell, you go where the money is.. anyway.. I'm sitting there looking at this expanse of mirror behind the polished ' bar ' and decide I just really need a drink of water.. The ' serviceperson ' smiles artificially and says she'll fetch the " Aqua Sommelier " I fekin' fell off my chair trying to control the hysterical laughter, then realized no one else was even letting out a giggle or tittle.. Aqua Sommelier??? The restaurant's ' cellar ' offered 50 different types of bottled water..bloody &*^%$#.. prices ranged from $4 to $ 52 for a ' pour '... Keeeerist..Can no one turn on a tap anymore??.. " Will that be still or sparkling', sir?.. felt like punching out the ijit and telling the others where to stuff their ' offer' but, I need the contract.. ..next thing restaurants will be charging for the damn napkins.. " will that be smooth or quilted, sir, or will you prefer the cleansing hand-cream impregnated version?"