Inching Closer to the End of the World...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Rocketeer, Mar 14, 2005.

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  1. Had a ' business meeting ' to go to.. held at one of those toney/trendy upscale restaurants...hell, you go where the money is..
    anyway.. I'm sitting there looking at this expanse of mirror behind the polished ' bar ' and decide I just really need a drink of water.. The ' serviceperson ' smiles artificially and says she'll fetch the " Aqua Sommelier "

    I fekin' fell off my chair trying to control the hysterical laughter, then realized no one else was even letting out a giggle or tittle..
    Aqua Sommelier??? The restaurant's ' cellar ' offered 50 different types of bottled water..bloody &*^%$#.. prices ranged from $4 to $ 52 for a ' pour '...

    Keeeerist..Can no one turn on a tap anymore??..

    " Will that be still or sparkling', sir?..

    felt like punching out the ijit and telling the others where to stuff their ' offer' but, I need the contract.. thing restaurants will be charging for the damn napkins..

    " will that be smooth or quilted, sir, or will you prefer the cleansing hand-cream impregnated version?"
  2. go to a different restaurant next time ,i know tipping etc is part of the US restaurant culture, but different types of water !?! thats is taking the pee
  3. Must have been somewhere in Ontario. Toronto maybe?
  4. I didnt know Burger King was now charging for its water!! 8O
  5. Stupidity aside, I'd love to know how a £52 water tastes different to a £4 one. Blind tasting maybe? Daft septics, if it ever happens over here I'm leaving.
  6. RC:

    oh, yeah.. Toronto alright.. My Alzheimer's prevents me from remembering the place.. but, they advertize on the radio their ' water cellar '.[ love to call it a water closet!!- I'd supply some of the ' water'-- snicker ].so I'm going to keep an ear tuned for it..they probably have a website.. everyone does these days...

    as for the ' different types of H2O, chaps..
    think Perrier, Evian and all the ' wannabee ' rainforest/natural spring/etc. etc.. yuppie poofter crap that you could possibly ' bottle ' for the fashionistas and you could easily rack up more than 50 kinds and charge what the market and pretentiousness could bear...
  7. for the disbelieving check out:

    they have a product and price list..anyone care to pay $ 30 to $ 50 bucks a case for water??and they aren't the only ones or the ' high end' market provider...

    I can see the coming apocolypse, my friends... anyone care for a nice chilled glass of Arctic glacier water with just a hint of seal pee?? How about Ice Flow ?? or eau de polar bear residue?? or, perhaps a taste of something from the tropics.. Komodo Dragon natural spring essence??

  8. Someone should start a chain of Water Bars.

    "Drinkies for Dickheads" perhaps?
  9. Water bars??
    I'm sure someone already has..

    remember a while back the ' Air Bars ' where people could go and sniff' pure' oxygen for a bit just to - er - clear the air?..

    make it frou frou enough and get the Hollywood set to think its "in" and the fat couples from DeMoines, Iowa, will waddle off the farm and think they're in Paris...GM banked on just that when they introduced the Hummer for city driving.. Once Ahnuld and his friends got one, every dentist and real estate agent in America had to have one so his wife could go to the mall for the bottled water...
  10. Wait a minute - is this idea patented? If not, you may just be on to something this space.
  11. or Rocketeer's "the Water Closet" Think many would catch on? :lol:
  12. Ah, but Ahnold has a genuine Hummer from AMGeneral.
    GM just makes those cheesey H2 versions, for the Hummer wannabes :lol:
  13. As the old line goes: "don't take the p*ss out of London's water, it needs all the distinctive flavour"

    ...I'll get me coat.