Inappropriate Dog Toys

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Cuddles, Apr 24, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. I popped around to a mate's house the other day. Recently single and not apparently all that happy about it, he has apparently been a bit mis-mog. I was not able to be "there for him" - in other words get him out on the lash - due to my involuntary sojourn overseas. So last night I popped in with a few bottles of beer and some cigars. Appropriate gifts you will all agree.

    I needn't have bothered. He was dressing for a night out as he had pulled the previous evening. We had a few beers before he headed out and whilst chatting bollox, as one does, and sparking up a cigar, I noticed his dog had a new toy.

    Twelve inches or so long, with a bell-end at each end, it was one of those eponymously named "double-ender" dil-dolls. It was in all respects anatomically perfect and being made of semi-rigid plastic, made an excellent dog toy/chew. She who had recently been dismissed from his service apparently had enjoyed diligent use of said "double-ender". He had prevented her from taking the thing and thrown it angrily to the deckhead - at which point Lulu the Staffy had retrieved it.

    It now is of far more use as a dog chew. It is perhaps however the least appropriate one I have ever seen, with the exception of a black Action Man toy that another friend used to torment his ridgeback.
     
  2. I hear one year olds aren't that durable these days, but they make great chew toys..
     
  3. Little soldier...

    I wonder if it would be possible to use the software off that "We are chavs and our children are fat fuckres" programme on BBC to age that picture?
     
  4. Could have at least posted the 'before' picture!
     
  5. Would pay good money to see this ambulance chasing cnut fed to the dogs. Hopefully she will soon go the same way as Jade Goody :x

    [​IMG]
     
  6. Unfortunately, we can't have dog toys at all.Of any kind.They get trashed.Monster GSD. :x
     
  7. Many years ago, my dad had a ridgeback. the only 'toy' that lasted any length of time were the old steel and rubber motor drive belts from his work. They had a diameter of about 1m and were about 20mm thick. They would last about a month, starting off whole, then slowly chewed away until about a foot long, when the remains got binned. Proper toys lasted a minute or so.
     
  8. That's an Inappropriate Dog, not the same thing at all.
     
  9. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Next time you see your mate, ask him who was on the other end of said device and would she be prepared to sell the vids to a serious collector? Can swap for a jet-ski tell him.
     
  10. probaly the couch itself i'd have to say

    2rottweilers of mature age vs anything ..
    rottweilers bless them they know how to bite

    friends of my parents they have 2 rottweilers
     
  11. :lol: :clap: