After a British Airways flight reached its cruising altitude, the captain came on air and announced. "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293 from London Heathrow, flying nonstop to Toronto. The weather ahead of us today is good, so sit back, relax and enjoy ...... OH MY GOD." Silence followed.......! Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of coffee in my lap." then added "You should see the front of my trousers." Towards the front, an Irish passenger shouted..... "Jaysus Christ, ya should see the back of mine !!!.