In celebration of TOAST!

[beefer]

If I lived in a town I’d definitely go for it.

Franchise opportunities, the lot. Needs to be in a city or big town with a lot of footfall to work though.

High turnover, low profit margin sort of business.

I reckon 70p per slice of toast is reasonable, including your jam etc.

Coffee and Tea at standard Costa / Starbucks prices.

There’s obviously some novelty value there.

Probably a great idea until the public get involved.

 

[jrwlynch]

Foreign sliced bread is an absolute disgrace.

The worst part of any deployment is when the ship runs out of decent British sliced bread and starts using locally bought shite that’s luminous yellow and tastes sweet.

Also usually about the same time they run out of bacon and sausages and you get the honking local stuff that tastes of fish, because the pigs are reared on the waste from fish processing factories.

That was about the only bad part of last year's jaunt on HMS Queen Liz - I joined in Norfolk, which was a pleasant place for a couple of nights out before we sailed, but of course they'd stored ship in the US.

The chefs did the best they could (and the food was mostly good, including a storming Christmas dinner) but breakfast in particular kept turning up that weird US "bacon" (thin-sliced, fishy-tasting streaky, that seems to go from limp and greasy to charred in an eyeblink). Even the eggs tasted vaguely of fish...

 

[PFGEN]

Is that like a toastie?

Exactly.

 

[Yokel]

You are having a giraffe.

I have never experienced American bread but I understand that it is full of corn syrup and does not taste like normal bread and will not toast properly.

Foreign sliced bread is an absolute disgrace.

The worst part of any deployment is when the ship runs out of decent British sliced bread and starts using locally bought shite that’s luminous yellow and tastes sweet.

Also usually about the same time they run out of bacon and sausages and you get the honking local stuff that tastes of fish, because the pigs are reared on the waste from fish processing factories.

My father has said one of the good things about being in a carrier group was the freshly baked bread.

Even the eggs tasted vaguely of fish...

Typical RNR Officer. You get served Caviar and you complain about the fishy taste.

 

[PFGEN]

Deffo bring back Toast Toppers, maybe in a squeezy bottle rather than a tin. Or a plastic sachet. Primula cheese spread works pretty well, though quite, erm, cheesy.

My mum introduced me to the joys of Primula and egg as a toast topping. Couple of hard boiled eggs, cut up, add about a third of a tube of Primula and mash up. Best if the eggs are still slightly warm from the hard boiling process. Couple of rounds of toast, knob of butter and lashings of egg and cheesy goodness. Bit of salt and pepper to taste. Other tubed cheeses are available but its hard to beat Primula.

 

[Cold_Collation]

Exactly.

Phew.

There seems to have been some 'innovation' creeping into this thread. I was worried.

 

[Lardbeast]

For years I’ve had this idea for a cafe that I reckon could be a winner.

It’s simply called “Toast.”

Each table has a toaster on it. You order different kinds of freshly baked bread by the slice and you get little portions of jams, butter, marmite, peanut butter, marmalade etc. etc.

For something a bit sweeter you could have brioche or panettone and Nutella.

Just really good quality coffee and toast.

That’s it.

Industrial pot of tea for me please.

And you want a small grill oven for the cheesy ones, eggs, ham, sliced sausage and roast pork/rare roast beef delivered by the plate. Jug of gravy for dipping.

 

[Endoscope]

My toast of choice is white sliced underneath tinned sardines (with tomato sauce)which have been mashed up with plenty of vinegar..... back under the grill and browned, with liberal splashing of more vinegar, serve when the exposed edges of bread are blackened

 

[PFGEN]

Phew.

There seems to have been some 'innovation' creeping into this thread. I was worried.

I'm feeling peckish. That's lunch fixed.

 

[Lardbeast]

How many slices of toast are needed to count as a substantial meal? Can we look forward to all the toasters in the land being bought by pubs when the lockdown is lifted? What sort of preserve goes well with lager - perhaps something not sweet. Perhaps a little pate instead?

I once put a roll on a cooling down barbecue and whilst I did not leave it look enough to toast, it did start to. If you can improvise a brazier than you can improvise a toaster.

Pretty standard doing toasties on the braai in S'Efrica. Useful for nibbling while getting rat arsed waiting for the nyama to go on.

 

[Cold_Collation]

If hipsters can run a cereal cafe then anything is possible - Cereal Killer Cafe - Wikipedia

Vic Reeves Walts.

"Oh Mr Cereal Killer, with your axes made of bran and your knives of rusk..."

 

[Legs]

Stick a couple of slices of medium sliced white (British) bread under the grill. When the first slice is toasted take it out. Butter the un-toasted side, then pour honey on it and spread that. top with some decent sized slices of Vintage Cheddar and stick it under the grill until the cheese is all bubbly. The sweet honey and the sharp cheese blend together in such a way that you can hear the Angels singing the Hallelujah Chorus as you take your first bite.

 

[Teeblerone]

Stick a couple of slices of medium sliced white (British) bread under the grill. When the first slice is toasted take it out. Butter the un-toasted side, then pour honey on it and spread that. top with some decent sized slices of Vintage Cheddar and stick it under the grill until the cheese is all bubbly. The sweet honey and the sharp cheese blend together in such a way that you can hear the Angels singing the Hallelujah Chorus as you take your first bite.

I've had cheddar & jam, but never thought of honey = good shout!

 

[Legs]

I've had cheddar & jam, but never thought of honey = good shout!

It's good with Philadelphia cheese as well.

 

[Cold_Collation]

It's good with Philadelphia cheese as well.

I can see that working. The local Italian does a goat's cheese and honey bruschetta starter.

It's Grim Up That Surrey...

 

[PFGEN]

Stick a couple of slices of medium sliced white (British) bread under the grill. When the first slice is toasted take it out. Butter the un-toasted side, then pour honey on it and spread that. top with some decent sized slices of Vintage Cheddar and stick it under the grill until the cheese is all bubbly. The sweet honey and the sharp cheese blend together in such a way that you can hear the Angels singing the Hallelujah Chorus as you take your first bite.

Excellent, the British take on the panini.

 

[colinmc400]

Cheese? Its the spawn of Satan and the smell alone makes me ralph.

 

[supermatelot]

I've been smashing the toast of late.
Latest topping is peanut butter with honey.
Missus doesnt like it, I took some up to her Sunday morning.
Oh yeah I forgot, giz it ere then.

Get her pregnant..she'll probably like it then!

 

[RangdoOfArg]

Cheese and jam.
Toast is for the Duke of Wellington.

 

[76mill]

That has to be a winner to the point I'd consider sinking money into it. Round lunch time you could add tosti's to the menu. That's two slices of cheap bread (slightly higher quality than banjo standard but not much) slap a savoury filling in between, ham and cheese being the basic standard, put in a clamp and toast both sides. Filling reaches a temperature close to that of the core of the sun. Cut between two corners and serve with sauce/ketchup and a beer.

CVR troop in Lulworth in the early 80's had 2 Tprs exclusively engaged in running a toastie/cupasoup enterprise actively encouraged by the Troop Sgt.* Quite frankly, it was a damn sight better than the gash in the cookhouse and was actively promoted to any passing wannabe cassette heads.

A friendly RAPC full screw did the costings and all profits went into troop funds for a piss up or two.

* His Doris just happened to be a " qualified" hairdresser so in the middle of nowhere guess where you had to go...

It was a bit like the sweary bits of Sgt Bilko that ended up on the cutting room floor.