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In celebration of TOAST!

The_Snail

ADC
RIP
That stuff was brilliant but an acquired taste. There's even a fan club who are now up in arms after Heinz stopped making the stuff a couple of years ago. Apart from toast the ham and cheese version was great for adding to scrambled eggs while cooking the using to fill a roll.
After doing a bit of thinky, I reckon that it's going to be easy to make the Bacon and Mushroom one. Cook off some chopped up bacon, onion and mushrooms, do some mixy mix with the cheapest cheese spread you can find, with some English Mustard. Et voila.

The ham and cheese version might be a bit more difficult to recreate because I can't find anywhere that sells lark's vomit.
 

PFGEN

GCM
After doing a bit of thinky, I reckon that it's going to be easy to make the Bacon and Mushroom one. Cook off some chopped up bacon, onion and mushrooms, do some mixy mix with the cheapest cheese spread you can find, with some English Mustard. Et voila.

The ham and cheese version might be a bit more difficult to recreate because I can't find anywhere that sells lark's vomit.

Not quite to the the fine standards of lark's vomit but I've found that cat vomit makes a good substitute and is more readily available. Our stable cat can produce enough for a slice if I can get him to hawk up his lunch. Best to feed him chunks of ham and keep him away from the fish for a couple of days. When Tiddles yaks its already pre warmed and can be spread straight from the paving slab. Before anybody says that this cruel I'd like to point out that I do give him a saucer of milk after he's produced the goods.
 

The_Snail

ADC
RIP
Not quite to the the fine standards of lark's vomit but I've found that cat vomit makes a good substitute and is more readily available. Our stable cat can produce enough for a slice if I can get him to hawk up his lunch. Best to feed him chunks of ham and keep him away from the fish for a couple of days. When Tiddles yaks its already pre warmed and can be spread straight from the paving slab. Before anybody says that this cruel I'd like to point out that I do give him a saucer of milk after he's produced the goods.
Cats only belong to people with weakness. They are sly little sleepy on your face cheeky little monsters, with claws and turds that look like raisins.

You're weak. No matter how many times your feline bats your hand away and does a dance when it sees a cucumber or a spider. It's not funny. It's weak and you are henpecked.

As an aside, the bacon, mushroom, onion have done a little bit of sweating with about 1/4 lb of butter and are resting. Just sitting there in a pan. Waiting for me to do the mixy mix thing with some rank cheese spread on a bit of Warbys. Settle it overnight, smash a bit of Kraft on the badger in the morning.

You know I'll win this.
 

PFGEN

GCM
Cats only belong to people with weakness. They are sly little sleepy on your face cheeky little monsters, with claws and turds that look like raisins.

You're weak. No matter how many times your feline bats your hand away and does a dance when it sees a cucumber or a spider. It's not funny. It's weak and you are henpecked.

Tiddles seldom does any dances unless he wants to wrestle at which point its best not to look weak. His claws can be a tad sharp and can catch on the cardie while playing.
 
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D

Deleted 20555

Guest
Cats only belong to people with weakness. They are sly little sleepy on your face cheeky little monsters, with claws and turds that look like raisins.

You're weak. No matter how many times your feline bats your hand away and does a dance when it sees a cucumber or a spider. It's not funny. It's weak and you are henpecked.

As an aside, the bacon, mushroom, onion have done a little bit of sweating with about 1/4 lb of butter and are resting. Just sitting there in a pan. Waiting for me to do the mixy mix thing with some rank cheese spread on a bit of Warbys. Settle it overnight, smash a bit of Kraft on the badger in the morning.

You know I'll win this.

Never trust anyone who doesn't like cats.
 

Mattb

LE
Keep it simple. Fresh white bread from a bread maker, heavily toasted so that it's really starting to brown and nicely caramelise, with lashings of salted butter.


The reality is normally shitty Chorleywood mass-manufactured crap, put through a conveyor toaster meaning it's either slightly warm bread or charcoal, with a little packet of butter that is too hard to spread and too small to slice.
 
Sorry to bring this up again but we are definitely in the thick of toast season now and my well trodden path from fridge to sofa generally includes a short diversion via the toaster. In fact suffering the double whammy of lock down and being snowed in, my relationship with the toaster has reached some sort of existential level that goes beyond mere friendship. Latest revelation is the joy of my toasted homemade wholewheat bread with a thick wodge of butter and truffle infused goats cheese. My first bite was like an out of body experience in which I momentarily thought I´d been granted a sneak preview of heaven.
 
Sorry to bring this up again but we are definitely in the thick of toast season now and my well trodden path from fridge to sofa generally includes a short diversion via the toaster. In fact suffering the double whammy of lock down and being snowed in, my relationship with the toaster has reached some sort of existential level that goes beyond mere friendship. Latest revelation is the joy of my toasted homemade wholewheat bread with a thick wodge of butter and truffle infused goats cheese. My first bite was like an out of body experience in which I momentarily thought I´d been granted a sneak preview of heaven.

Bit of Branston pickle under the cheese, then a minute under the grill to brown it before scoffing.
 
Brown wholemeal, toasted on one side only, turn over, cover with thin sliced real mild cheddar, toast until bubbling and starting to burn, remove and cover with cold, sliced length ways, Polish, or any eastern European pickled gherkins, cold gherkins on hot bubbly cheese toasted to perfection,.........food of the gods!
 

colinmc400

Swinger
Being born and bred "over there", i always felt we were the undisputed home of the best bread for toast. In no order of preference, all of these are awesome and need only a liberal smear of salted butter and a steaming hot nato std and i would be happy as a swine in the doo doo's. Defo all more on the well done side and without any extra toppings, especially the spawn of Satan himself - cheese!

Veda


Potato farl.


Soda farl.


Plain loaf

 

PFGEN

GCM
Sorry to bring this up again but we are definitely in the thick of toast season now and my well trodden path from fridge to sofa generally includes a short diversion via the toaster. In fact suffering the double whammy of lock down and being snowed in, my relationship with the toaster has reached some sort of existential level that goes beyond mere friendship. Latest revelation is the joy of my toasted homemade wholewheat bread with a thick wodge of butter and truffle infused goats cheese. My first bite was like an out of body experience in which I momentarily thought I´d been granted a sneak preview of heaven.

Hard to beat. Toaster on permanent standby as soon as the nights draw in. Fresh soft bread from the baker, done to somewhere between a 5 and 6 on the 9 point toast scale. A good lathering of Lurpack (salted) and a layer of thick cut marmalade. Either Dundee's finest or similar but with added ginger.

Still annoyed at Heinz for stopping Toast Toppers, the utter bwastards.
 
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Hard to beat. Toaster on permanent standby as soon as the nights draw in. Fresh soft bread from the baker, done to somewhere between a 5 and 6 on the 9 point toast scale. A good lathering of Lurpack (salted) and a layer of thick cut marmalade. Either Dundee's finest or similar but with added ginger.

Still annoyed at Hienz for stopping Toast Toppers, the utter bwastards.
You’ve got me slathering at the thought. I like my toast at the incinerated end of the scale. That’s why my toaster is like Spinal Tap’s amp - it goes up to 11.
 
As a child - Four slices of extremely fresh sliced white just delivered to the common room. Cut the crusts off. Toast. Margarine and mixed fruit jam straight from a new pot before any other cúnt has had a chance to mess things up. Eat sat on the radiator with the papers during a morning 'study' period when everyone else is in lessons.

As an adult - Four slices of white out of the rotary toaster that someone else put in. Cover in fried egg, one sausage, one bacon and beans. Devour with a brew, orange juice and the Telegraph.
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
For years I’ve had this idea for a cafe that I reckon could be a winner.

It’s simply called “Toast.”

Each table has a toaster on it. You order different kinds of freshly baked bread by the slice and you get little portions of jams, butter, marmite, peanut butter, marmalade etc. etc.

For something a bit sweeter you could have brioche or panettone and Nutella.

Just really good quality coffee and toast.

That’s it.
 
For years I’ve had this idea for a cafe that I reckon could be a winner.

It’s simply called “Toast.”

Each table has a toaster on it. You order different kinds of freshly baked bread by the slice and you get little portions of jams, butter, marmite, peanut butter, marmalade etc. etc.

For something a bit sweeter you could have brioche or panettone and Nutella.

Just really good quality coffee and toast.

That’s it.

It will end up like this:


 
For years I’ve had this idea for a cafe that I reckon could be a winner.

It’s simply called “Toast.”

Each table has a toaster on it. You order different kinds of freshly baked bread by the slice and you get little portions of jams, butter, marmite, peanut butter, marmalade etc. etc.

For something a bit sweeter you could have brioche or panettone and Nutella.

Just really good quality coffee and toast.

That’s it.
If hipsters can run a cereal cafe then anything is possible - Cereal Killer Cafe - Wikipedia
 

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