In a perfect world...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Stained_Eligius, Jun 23, 2006.

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  1. Whilst working on a song yesterday I was having trouble with the chorus so I decided to take a break. Well, one thing led to another and I ended up getting caught 'mid-wänk' by my girlfriend who had returned early from a shopping trip. She was really cool about it but I couldn't stop myself thinking that things could have panned out better.

    In a perfect world she would have smiled knowingly before shoving my hand away and finishing the job I started. There would no questions about what I had been watching on my brain-cam and she would completely and utterly understand that at the end of the day it was just a wänk - nothing more and that it was NOT a symptom of a failing relationship! :) She didn't actually ask about my brain-cam but it would have been a difficult one to answer as the woman in question had body parts from about 8 different women...

    So what else would happen in a perfect world?
  2. All PTIs and Drill Pigs would be (sexually 'fit') female and give you a gobble on completion of PT and drill - we'd have a much fitter and better turned out army for sure!
  3. Just a thought.....
  4. In a perfect world I could write songs like that :(
  5. heres a song not veiled with inuendo
    Ivor Bigun - I'mA W?*nker -
  6. In a perfect world, her and her sister would have walked in with a case of stella, opened one for you then stripped off and engaged in lesbian acts before asking your preference of bj, anal or both. They would have then driven you down to the pub and waited in the car until you were finished before taking you home to a roast dinner, after which they would do housework in the nude until you were ready for another sh@g. Got to go now, I got wood.
  7. Ah, this isn't actually about the wänk :) I was thinking of other things in a perfect world: ouija telephones. You could call Nostradamus and find out whether it was all just a massive wah.. or Hitler to ask whether, with hindsight, he could have handled things slightly better..

    edited to beat the filter
  8. Y'can add Teenage Kicks by The Undertones too.
  9. I give up....