Improving your town

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by growler, Jan 28, 2005.

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  1. I have received a questionnaire from a Labour & Co-operative candidate for the council elections - a rather fat ugly looking cove - one of the questions being "What do you think are the three things that would most improve Anytown?" I had in mind having it bombed by one of those air bomb things that the yanks throw out of the back of hercs? Don't know what they're called. Any more suggestions for your places of abode?
  2. Daisy Cutters or MOABs if I recall correctly. Tactical Nuclear Destruction would be improvement on my local town. I could suggest a few suitable ground zeros.
  3. I know it has sod all to do with your initial post, but the ordnance yo uare after is called the BLU-82B/C-130 weapon system, nicknamed Commando Vault in Vietnam and Daisy Cutter in Afghanistan. It is a high altitude delivery of 15,000 pound conventional bomb, delivered from an MC-130 since it is far too heavy for the bomb racks on any bomber or attack aircraft. Originally designed to create an instant clearing in the jungle, it has been used in Afghanistan as an anti-personnel weapon and as an intimidation weapon because of its very large lethal radius (variously reported as 300-900 feet) combined with flash and sound visible at long distances. It is the largest conventional bomb in existence but is less than one thousandth the power of the Hiroshima nuclear bomb.

    Frequent press reports to the contrary, the Daisy Cutter is not a fuel-air explosive (FAE). It is a conventional explosive incorporating both agent and oxidizer. In contrast, an FAE consists only of agent and a dispersing mechanism, and takes its oxidizer from the oxygen in the air. FAEs generally run between 500 and 2000 pounds; it would be difficult to make an FAE the size of Daisy Cutter because the correct uniform mixture of agent with ambient air would be difficult to maintain if the agent were so widely dispersed. Thus, the conventional explosive technique of Daisy Cutter is more reliable than that of an FAE, particularly if there is significant wind or thermal gradient.

    This system depends upon the accurate positioning of the aircraft by either a fixed ground radar or onboard navigation equipment. The ground radar controller, or aircrew navigator as applicable, is responsible for positioning the aircraft prior to final countdown and release. Primary aircrew considerations include accurate ballistic and wind computations provided by the navigator, and precision instrument flying with strict adherence to controller instructions. The minimum altitude for release due to blast effects of the weapon is 6,000 feet AGL. The BLU-82 was originally designed to clear helicopter landing zones and artillery emplacements in Vietnam. The warhead contains 12,600 pounds of low-cost GSX slurry (ammonium nitrate, aluminum powder, and polystyrene) and is detonated just above ground level by a 38-inch fuze extender, optimized for destruction and ground level without digging a crater. The weapon produces an overpressure of 1000 psi [pounds per square inch] near ground zero, tapering off as distance increases.

    Eleven BLU-82s were dropped during Desert Storm, all from Special Operations C-130s. The initial drops were intended to test the ability of the bomb to clear mines; no reliable bomb damage assessment exists on mine clearing effectiveness. Later, bombs were dropped as much for their psychological effect as for their antipersonnel effects. The Air Force dropped several BLU-82s during the campaign to destory the Taliban and al-Qaeda terror networks in Afganistan to attack and demoralize personnel and to destroy underground- and cave-complexes.

    Some of you may recall the total stink in the press about FACs trying to call in Big Blue on targets in Iraq - apparently there was some discussion about proportionality vs effect. Oh well.... :D

    Here is a pic:

  4. Get out more Calypso - seriously there is a world out there :D
  5. I'd like to see my town turned into a giant FIBUA training area with the chavs and pikeys used as moving Fig 11's, whilst the chav wagons (vauxhall corsas with wideboy tyres and big bore exhausts) could be used as Chally targets.
  6. Yes! Good one black cat
  7. Sorry MB - you're quite right. I will go out tomorrow! :D

    Growler - apologies for derailing the thread. :D

    Back to topic:

    I would change my town by introducing a genetic filter mechanism to ensure that only genetically clean types could get in. The filter would be set to exclude anyone with sub-normal IQs, social diseases, tendencies to Neu Arbiet and adherence to religion.

    In this way, I expect my town would fill up with ARRSE members fairly rapidly, and we could then declare UDI; mobilise and take over the country. From there, we would 'cleanse the Commons' after suitably scripted and widely televised show trials - this day would be commemorated in perpetuity as 'The Scouring of Albion'.

    Next, formation of a government. A select group of ARRSE members with diverging views would be fused into a cabinet of constant revolution to ensure that a constant stream of fresh ideas were delivered.

    Military spending would be tripled. The 'Service is Citizenship' policy would receive the highest political weighting. All welfare payments would cease unless the recipient had prior or current service in the Armed Forces, emergency services or NHS. Lawyers would be terminated unless also ARRSE members, in which case they would be posted to the Ministry of Justice to ensure that iron hard military discipline continued to be delivered to the workforce.

    The workforce would comprise a group of genetically uncompliant civilians, neutered, who would be used for essential 'donkey work'.

    This new, radiant society (to be entitled 'The Sacred Green Isle of Albion') would keep population levels at the requisite levels by making all relationships null and void, as these would be counter-productive on our journey to world domination, and a process known as 'Partner Assignation' where prospective breedings would be designated according to genetic advantage. All children would belong to the state, raised in special facilities where they would recieve military training from the age of 3, in addition to more focussed 'Skillsets for Life' training.

    Who's with me?? :D

    Any suggestions for who should be on the Cabinet?? :D
  8. Can I be the one to stand on the council balcony a la El Duce as admiring grateful crowds of arrse members march past in silent homage?
  9. Hang on Growler - no-one is any better than any other in The Sacred Isle. There won't be any silent marching anywhere, and certainly not past you! :D

    I fancy the following lineup of 'Executive Non-plenipotentiary Members of Adminstration for the Nation':

    Lead Soldier Citizen: Flash.
    Deputy Soldier Citizen: BBC
    Member for Constitional Affairs: PTP (the filthy politico)Member for Maintenance of Law: MC
    Member for Dodgy Shops: MC
    Member for Womens' Affairs: Dale
    Deputy Member for Womens' Affairs: Lippy
    Member for Maintenance of Fighting Fitness and Health: VB
    Deputy Member for the above: DL
    Member for Foreign Affairs: Cuts
    Deputy Member for Foreign Affairs: Corpse
    Member for Moral Recidividity: MDN
    Deputy Member for Moral Recidividity: Porridge Gun (strange that!)
    Member for the Armed Action: Bad CO
    Deputy Member for Armed Action: GAPPED
    Member for Armed Action (Part Time): msr
    Deputy Member for Armed Action (Part Time): antphillip
    Member for Dealing with Stress: shortfuse
    Member for Complex Computer Problems: gp3 bunny
    Member for Housing: toonie

    Anymore for anymore....?
  10. Fookme when did you stop taking the medication?