Important terminology and abbreviations for the savvy investors

Discussion in 'Finance, Property, Law' started by viceroy, Oct 18, 2012.

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  1. CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.


    BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake


    himself for a financial genius.


    BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance,


    the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.


    VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.


    P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the


    market keeps crashing.


    BROKER -- What my broker has made me.


    STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.


    STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.


    STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets


    equally between themselves.


    FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.


    MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.


    CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the


    toilet.


    YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240


    per share.


    WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought


    Yahoo @ $240 per share.


    INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a


    nuthouse.


    PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.
     
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