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Important info for husbands.

Bullet Sponge said:
...So my advice is never ever call your wife a spacky, not only do they suffer from selective deafness but they still go off on one when you finally get to explain what you really said. :(

So let me get this right... she's a spacky but you can't operate a fridge or cooker :roll:
 
Bullet Sponge said:
Over the weekend I found myself in a rather difficult position. Whilst stood in the kitchen pondering how the big cold thing keeps filling with food, how the thing that makes the food hot works and many other things that confuse us blokes, I called to the wife to let her know that it was a bit cold and could she, as she was in the sitting room, check what temperature the heating was set to. It is at this point that my whole weekend when down hill, the following is a transcript of what happened:

Me: "It's a bit cold, could you have a look at the thermostat and see what temperature it's on dear?"

Wifey: "It's set to 10 degrees.

Me: "Why on earth is it that low?"

Wifey: "Oh I turned it down yesterday so that the house wasn't too warm at night."

Me: "Duh! The heating is set to switch of at night spacky!"

Wifey: "DID YOU JUST CALL ME FATTY?! I'LL GIVE YOU FATTY YOU *&$£ING WA*%&$ BLAH BLAH BLAH YOU DON'T LOVE ME, YOU'RE THE BIGGEST C*&T I'VE EVER KNOWN BLAH BLAH BLAH BAS&^%D! 8O

So my advice is never ever call your wife a spacky, not only do they suffer from selective deafness but they still go off on one when you finally get to explain what you really said. :(

That has just made my day. Typical woman. Mishears the superior species and then launches into a tirade.
 
threaders_vm said:
Biped said:
You're not kidding. Last time I spoke to your wife, I called her fatty as I got out of bed. I think I know where the problem stems from.

Too true. The last time I climbed on top of his wife my ears popped.

The last time you climbed on my wife I was still on top of her, I'm still having therapy...... 8O


And the next time you sneak into my house do try to resist slipping the dog a portion too, if its ring piece gets any slacker it'll become an uncontrollable walking shit dispenser.
 
Blood Hell, you guys should shut up and be happy you got fatties to pork..

missus decided one day she needed to get fit.. dropped 50 pounds and now haunts me daily pointing out my growing girth and how I could benefit from eating ' sensible foods' such as her pre-packed plans and mounds of rabbit forage..

not only that, before, when there was some bounce and push back there was some enjoyable rebound, now I've got to be careful.. last time damn near had my kidney removed by a sharp hip bone..her ribs are starting to show like a Biafran..shudder..[ and her right cross and uppercut have some power behind them when they connect with the chin instead of bouncing off like being hit with bubble wrap as before ]..

damn women...
 
I'm with Rocketeer all the way on this one. Let's not chastise our national treasures, but feed and nurture them.It's always good to have someone bigger than you around the house to boost your self esteem. It's also easier to run away after you've insulted their bingo wings and orange peel arrse. (Don't overfeed them though, or they'll be unable to move freely or administrate themselves. Wiping a warm flannel around the nether regions of an immovable 35st Doris is not a pretty thought.
 
old_fat_and_hairy said:
I have found, that being polite, gentlemanly and courteous to your wife pays dividends. She has never raised her voice or got angry with me. And she is a good cook.

Yes, but she's also shown most of the garrison her other good talent. :p
 
threaders_vm said:
Biped said:
You're not kidding. Last time I spoke to your wife, I called her fatty as I got out of bed. I think I know where the problem stems from.

Too true. The last time I climbed on top of his wife my ears popped.

And then your balls dropped!


Taxi.
 
lm sure that lard bandit on the link pulled my mate in andover on saturday....

ld sooner have gone home alone and settled down with my 2 fav girls, stella and brandy
 
Heres another tip for ya.

When the wife says "DON"T get me anything for my Birthday" Don't NOT get anything for her birthday. Snot kidding - It's a bluff. I didn't one year and I get it shuvved up my arrse every four weeks. i.e periodically.
 
Busta-Gut said:
Heres another tip for ya.

When the wife says "DON"T get me anything for my Birthday" Don't NOT get anything for her birthday. Snot kidding - It's a bluff. I didn't one year and I get it shuvved up my arrse every four weeks. i.e periodically.

So every four weeks you get the nothing you did (or didn't) buy shoved up your arrse?

:?
 
Steven said:
Busta-Gut said:
Heres another tip for ya.

When the wife says "DON"T get me anything for my Birthday" Don't NOT get anything for her birthday. Snot kidding - It's a bluff. I didn't one year and I get it shuvved up my arrse every four weeks. i.e periodically.

So every four weeks you get the nothing you did (or didn't) buy shoved up your arrse?

:?

Didn't say I didn't buy ME something did I, nudge, nudge.
 

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