Over the weekend I found myself in a rather difficult position. Whilst stood in the kitchen pondering how the big cold thing keeps filling with food, how the thing that makes the food hot works and many other things that confuse us blokes, I called to the wife to let her know that it was a bit cold and could she, as she was in the sitting room, check what temperature the heating was set to. It is at this point that my whole weekend when down hill, the following is a transcript of what happened:
So my advice is never ever call your wife a spacky, not only do they suffer from selective deafness but they still go off on one when you finally get to explain what you really said.
Me: "It's a bit cold, could you have a look at the thermostat and see what temperature it's on dear?"
Wifey: "It's set to 10 degrees.
Me: "Why on earth is it that low?"
Wifey: "Oh I turned it down yesterday so that the house wasn't too warm at night."
Me: "Duh! The heating is set to switch of at night spacky!"
Wifey: "DID YOU JUST CALL ME FATTY?! I'LL GIVE YOU FATTY YOU *&$£ING WA*%&$ BLAH BLAH BLAH YOU DON'T LOVE ME, YOU'RE THE BIGGEST C*&T I'VE EVER KNOWN BLAH BLAH BLAH BAS&^%D!
So my advice is never ever call your wife a spacky, not only do they suffer from selective deafness but they still go off on one when you finally get to explain what you really said.