Impending New Labour Disastor - time for Op Grassy Knoll???

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Plastic Yank, Apr 29, 2010.

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  1. Does anyone else get the impression that Her Imperial Majesty, Lord Mandelbum, is getting just a tad annoyed with Moron Brown and may be considering their trump card????

    Think the logic through:

    [hr] after another miserable performance by the miserable Fifer and as he leaves the studio, vowing to fight on
    [hr] a shot rings out, wounding our PM!!
    [hr] He is rushed to hosptial with the fair Sarah by his side.
    [hr] the spinners are put into overdrive, hints of a Tory/LibDem/BNP/UKIP [take your pick] plot to destablise the country
    [hr] Mandelson bravely taking to the airways, saying "Don't worry - I'm in charge"
    [hr] Polls show Labour vote soar to new levels
    [hr] candlelight vigils, more words of comfort, by the Patriarch Lord of Rio
    [hr] Broon dies, Labour reach new heights, election happens
    [hr] Labour wins and the first Lord to become PM since Sir Alec Douglas Home takes command.

    orrr, am I just being paranoid 8O
     
  2. Or there is some catastrophic event (terror attack on Whitehall) close to the election, throwing the country (apparently) into chaos. Top ministers are sadly all incapacitated or dead in the dreadful accident. Leaders of the the opposition parties are placed into "protective custody".

    Then in the evening, on television & all radio stations Lord Mandleson announces the grave event that has happened means the elections will have to be postponed indefinately, in the interests of National Security, and that he will be heading up a cross bench cabinet to run the country.

    Except there is no cabinet.
     
  3. cynics.......
    or accurate forward thinking?
     
  4. Brown get's a 'stroke' and is incapacitated, a la Ariel Sharon, and Peter Mandleson takes the helm, as suddenly the Deputy PM Harriet Harman has an unavoidable accident by falling fatally on her own nail scissors, in her back (Twice).

    He instantly rides the wave of sympathy for the late Deputy PM and soon-to-be late PM, and walks into Nº 10. He immediatley orders the UKBA to allow unchallenged all young Brazillian males (and as yet unspecified South Asian and American countries) into the country to work, as he say's, to make up for the unfortunate ND (x8) that was bestowed upon the young but tight-buttocked Jean Charles de Menezes.

    He rushes through new legislation to make blood donation compulsory and has regular amounts delivered to Downing Street for reasons as yet unknown. He legalises necrophillia and announces that the new full title of the Primeminister will be:

    Lord Count Peter Dracule Mandleson-De Silva of Transylvania, (First Lord of the Treasury and Bloodbank) Keeper of the Queens Handbags and wearer of the Leather Chaps (1st Class).

    David Cameron is suddenly forced to quit as it is discovered that he is in fact the illegitimate half-brother of Nick Griffin, although the only records that can prove (or disprove) this just happen to been 'found' by and in the posession of Alan Duncan, who defected from the Tories and is now established at Peter's right-hand man, (and occasional oral-man depending on Peter's mood). The remainder of the Conservative party is made illegal and all self-confessed 'Tory's' are burnt at the stake publically in Hyde Park.

    He gives up Chequers as his official country residence and instead uses The Admiral Duncan pub in Old Compton Street as his alternative abode when he's relaxing and needs to get amongst his public (toilets).
     
  5. Fat Cav,

    you bar steward!

    i now have to clean my pc monitor as it's covered in my lunch
    git!!!
     
  6. You do realise that you have just signed your very own "walk in the woods" warrant with that post?
     
  7. am I dreaming or have Carlsberg started doing election build ups?

    ....hang 'em all :x
     
  8. They'll never fin...........
     
  9. Sadly there in little or no point in handing him the Webley as he has no concept of honour :twisted:

    YM
     
  10. Say HI to Gillian and Sue..
     
  11. Bouillabaisse

    Bouillabaisse LE Book Reviewer

    In Ghana in the 80's an announcement was made during the 2nd (?) Rawlings coup for named individuals to report to police stations for "their own protection." A number of them were placed for their own protection in small wooden boxes buried in the ground, after being tied to stakes on the beach and shot
     
  12. They banned revolvers so that there would not be any conveniently to hand. Perhaps one of Cyclop's protection officers might "accidentally" leave his weapon on the corner of the great leader's desk whilst he popped out for a moment?
     
  13. Broon would shoot whoever handed it to him in the back as they went to walk out of the door .. including his own mother ..
     
  14. And David Kelly.
     
  15. Signature says everything I need to say on the matter.