"Impaled on Table Leg in Loft - Delicate Incident"

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by JoeCivvie, Nov 26, 2012.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Sounds like some botty-based bumfoolery to me.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Expert opinion, no doubt.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  3. Saw a medical documentary about a bloke coming into A&E with the handle of a bog brush lodged firmly up his arrse. Why, in the name of god, he allowed himself to be filmed in this condition is beyond me.

    Junior doc tells her boss "He slipped and fell onto it".

    "Indeed," says the boss "We get a lot of that in A&E."

    The joke was on the patient. The handle had a hook on the end. During the surgery to remove it, the surgeons pulled out half his guts.

    Best thing to get stuck up your arrse is an old bottle of Old Spice. The paint used to be lead based and when the radiographer sees "Old Spice - The Mark of a Man" showing up clearly on the x-ray, he knows what he's dealing with.
     
    • Like Like x 4
  4. There was a car dealer back home that apparently had an infatuation with the old glass Coke bottles... he had been to the ER multiple times for removal.
     
  5. The comedian Johnny Vegas is a ceramicist and was once commissioned to design an Old Spice bottle.
     
  6. A table leg by Christ! Words fail. No pic need be posted.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  7. Table leg, eh? Lucky the cops didn't give him another arsehole in his head.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  8. I hear the faint swish of a silken cape again.
     
    • Like Like x 5
  9. At least he had something to sit on when he was waiting in emergency.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  10. Not whilst there are dogs available on the streets!