Immediate Action drills

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Longinthegums, Jun 24, 2008.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Just remembering the good old days when the IA for an SLR stoppage was Rifle stops firing - mag off - cock the rifle - full mag on - carry on firing.

    We had one in the room for vacuum failure -

    Hoover hooving normally.
    Hoover stops hooving!
    Remove hoover bag.
    Lift hoover and shake.
    Replace hoover bag.
    Hoover still does not hoove.
    Remove hoover bag.
    Kick hoover.
    Replace hoover bag.
    Hoover still does not hoove.
    Walk to mate.
    Remove hoover plug from mate.
    Replace hoover plug in socket.
    Hoover hooves normally.
    Carry on hooving.

    Wonder what the IA is for a police Taser?

    Taser tasing normally
    Taser stops...............................................................................
  2. I loved the SLR but the DS tore the pish out of me recently and referred to it as a shotgun!!!

    All because I grumbled about all the fiddly twangy bits on the A2 - well its true!!! Too much faffing about compared to the SLR.

    He nearly wet his breeks when I placed my upturned beret on the floor and placed the working parts and the jigsaw that is the bolt carrier assembly-firing pin cuddling thing in it!!!

    (Stops to draw breath and counts to ten.....)

    Yeah the IA drills were pish easy :D

    Have to admit though (and it chokes me to do so) the A2 is bliddy accurate - but STILL.....
  3. cameling cameling cameling
    camel Stops!
    jump off hump off look inside
    On looking inside the camel we see there is water in the hump and none in the camel
    hump on jump on carry on cameling
    cameling cameling cameling
    camel Stops!
    jump off hump off look inside
    etc etc etc.
  4. Very apt Uncle Ho :D

    Thank you you've just given me my first laugh of the day - and no, before you ask, looking in the bathroom mirror doesn't count 'cos that's self inflicted.
  5. Missus won't start.

    Check tart fuel, sufficient for task?

    Check spark?
    Spark absent?
    New plug.

    Still no ignition?
    New coil.

    No ignition?
    Find strip-down video on internet, follow instructions.


    Police tazer - just lick the electrodes like any other battery-powered gizzie.
  6. A night on the pop:

    Career's going fine.
    Career's going fine.

    On looking inside the bar you will find-

    * A bunch of stinking civvys after a fight

    Neck twelfty pints
    Ask Civvys if "They want a bit"
    Civvy's bottle it

    Career carrys on unaffected.

    I think we all know the alternative

  7. From the Mull of Kintyre: Helicopter flying, helicopter stops...
  8. meridian

    meridian LE Good Egg (charities)

    Whats the IA for following through?
  9. IA on following through?

    Embarrassment and deep shame/pride :D
  10. meridian

    meridian LE Good Egg (charities)

    Do they change depending on location?

    Sitting at your new girlfriends parents dinner table on a Sunday afternoon


    In the pub with your mates, having a who can shart the longest competition
  11. lmao :D

    From what I've read on arrse about this "Sport of Kings" that's it exactly!!
  12. BrunoNoMedals

    BrunoNoMedals LE Reviewer

    Working, working, working...
    Working stops.

    Mission accomplished :)
  13. Post on arrse.
    wait for "someone" to be offended.
    Thread deleted.
    Post formal apology on aviation forum.

    Still funny :twisted:
  14. Arby?....

    Whats the best way to clean spluttered coffee from a keyboard???

    Priceless!! :D

    I missed smartascarrots post first time round
  15. Take it from me, if you try to enliven a day at work by yelling "Stoppage" and rolling onto the floor with a stapler and a box of staples people will look at you oddly - although they stop nicking your good coffee.