Imaginative home security...

Mountaineering walking stick.
The silly meter reader in the dames house mistook it for an ice pick.
There’s even a label on says mountaineering walking stick.
For the op there’s a make of bb pellet which breaks up on impact.

Edit Also nhs tin walking stick, slid in on itself, possibly the finest non lethal CQB implement ever devised.
I don't care - I have an Ice Axe by the front door, then again I'm in a MR team so it's part of my kit, other bits also live by the front door.

I've a massive torch by the bed which has a bastard strobe setting which will seriously piss off someone off while I'm getting ready to wallop them with it.
Me and Mrs OB both have a 6 cell mag light by the bed. Just in case we lose power of course. My dog died a few years ago and Mrs OB won't let me get a new one until I retire. Here he was running to me to give me a few licks.



Get a basset hound, bitch preferred, stroppy aggressive shits with breath that will curdle lead at 100 paces!
Maybe maybe not
But it seems pretty standard for individuals to scrawl over the internet with their premeditated plans

There seemed to be plenty willing to inform on Tony Martin having told everyone down the pub that he would shoot a burglar
See I am well aware of all the legal shit like as a homeowner you can't put glass on the top of your walls anymore blah de blah blah.
Well M'lud,
No it is pretty simple, if you own this land, pay the bills and taxes. Fine come in.
If I invite you in, fine.
If you are a service such as A Postal delivery service delivering me obscure stuff or a takeaway as I often cannot be arsed to cook..............
However if you are a thieving pikey/junkie fuckwit that want's to steal what I have earned through work to buy, you have three simple options.

1. Go out and earn the pennies to buy things yourself.
2. Fall foul of the law.
3. Roll the forking dice.

Why should any landowner be afraid, why do we bother with having castles and forts or hesco? To keep dickheeds out and protect what is ours! By law.
To get over the no more broken glass on walls .. Try

Create a natural defence against burglary

Planting particular shrubs (in their mature or semi mature form) along garden walls and fences can make it harder for burglars to access your property or put them off completely. To maximise this effect plant them close to each other.

We recommend planting any of the following:

  • Berberis
  • Osmanthus
  • Forget
  • Poncirus
  • Crataegus
  • Pyracantha
  • Aralia
  • Chaenomeles
  • Ribes
  • Oplopanax
  • Eleagnus
  • Robinia
  • Colletia
  • Ilex
  • Climbing roses
  • Maclura
  • Mahonia
  • Ligustrum (privet), or laurel
  • Smilax and Xanthoxylum
A camera. The flash going off will send burglars scurrying....
Even better a stobe light. Throw in a CO² extinguisher and you're in business

I have my late Uncle Ken's Model 1897 Pattern Infantry Officers' Sword next to my bed, for safekeeping. Plus a torch bright enough to X Ray small animals.
180 Lumens, IIRC.

Mmmmm torches.
Even better a stobe light. Throw in a CO² extinguisher and you're in business

A friend who is an optician has something similar.

I just said .

If they want to steal you high end glass frames and he has about 150 or so costing 1000 Euro a pop in his shop.

They will set it off and wait for the "chemical" smoke to evaporate and then nick them.

He just hopes the police will turn up in time..

Yep really . Do it on a Sunday when there is one car on duty.
When asked 'have you let Jesus into your life?' I find that responding with 'Have you let Odin into yours?' is very effective. For some reason they find it offensive that I would ask them a question about religion on my property when they came to me uninvited and unwanted.
some people are very strange.
They've taken to bringing young children with them when they visit our area, hoping, I imagine, that people won't swear at them in front of the youngsters. They leave very quickly when I tell them that I and my family are Athiests.

On the home security side, I have a No 5 Mk1 Enfield ten feet from our bed. It's unloaded but ammunition is close, I don't want to keep the spring under constant pressure. I should mention that we live miles from town and we're not in the British Isles.
Outer protection- The 6' garden fence is ringed with those strips that you use for carpet edges, not across just the top but on the inner top as well.

Internal self-defence is by baseball bat (I'm keen on it and keep a glove and ball close by)
I've often thought about keeping a CO2 extinguisher handy with a golf ball stuffed down the nozzle. I would add a small LED torch to it to act as an LLM.
Our neighbours are great, except one. I get on well with him, but I don't trust him. I have, however, bamboozled him with hints of some of my security system. I'm hoping the word gets around.

Also, my climbing gear is kept in the house, that includes ice axes.

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My first Jack Russell took a lump out of a scrote trying to come in through the window. When lifted he whined and was told that if you weren't there the dog wouldn't chomp you. I currently have a Zulu knobkerrie that has a rubber bung over the end that makes it a 'walking stick'. Plus the usual Maglites, decorative kukri and a pathological hatred of anyone trying to steal my shit.
Sad state of affairs when posters are rightfully wary of owning items that could indicate pre-meditation when it comes to defending your own home from intruders.

Aren't all bets off once said scrote ventures upstairs?
This is an issue thats going to be come more common in the future, home protection and whats allowed or whats excessive. The use of items lying around, knife, household cleaners, emergency lighting or sporting equipment being acceptable. Now how big the knife is or how acidic the household cleaner will be down to juries, juries who may well of experienced or known other victims of said crime. Minefield for CPS or foreign equivalent.

I really on strong locks, barky dog and nosy neighbors. Outside lights and CCTV stickers, also being a thing.

When living abroad we were very low key, no flash watches, jewelery or even car. Unlike other ex pats, who were turned over.

Doted around the house are the usual suspects, acquired over the years, swords, riot truncheons, bayonets and two old firearms, all useful, however I personally feel when it comes to some one in my drum the sound I would want to hear would be that sound when you pump a shell in to a Mossberg.

* Other pump action shotguns are available.

** So if I join my local clay pigeon club just how long does it take to get a license?
I have my late Uncle Ken's Model 1897 Pattern Infantry Officers' Sword next to my bed, for safekeeping. Plus a torch bright enough to X Ray small animals.
180 Lumens, IIRC.

Mmmmm torches.

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