got sent this. probably been done to death, but oh well. Image Of Rank General- Leaps over tall buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a locomotive, is faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water, gives policy to God. Colonel- Leaps short buildings with a single bound, is more powerful than a switch engine, is just as fast as a speeding bullet, walks on water if the sea is calm, and talks to God. Lt Col- Leaps short buildings with a running start and a favourable wind, is almost as powerful as a switch engine, is faster than a BB pellet, walks on ponds and talks to God if he can get the request approved. Major- Barely clears a shed, loses tug of war with locomotives, can fire a speeding bullet, swims well, and is occasionally addressed by God Captain- Makes high marks when trying to leap short sheds, is run over by locomotives, can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury, can doggy paddle, and talks to animals. Lieutenant- Runs into buildings, recognises locomotives 2/3 times, is not issued ammunition, can stay afloat if properly instructed, and talks to bushes and small trees. Second Lieutenant- Falls over doorsills when trying to enter buildings, says "look a choo-choo", wets himself when given a water pistol, and mumbles to himself from time to time. Warrant Officer- Lifts buildings out of the way, kicks locomotives off the track, catches speeding bullets with his teeth and chews em up, freezes water with a single glance, HE IS GOD. NCO- Hides behind buildings whenever work needs doing, misses last train home, uses water only as chaser, uses Gods name when he sees one of the above. Trooper- Views buildings as something you stand outside whilst being shouted at, can get from A to B if verbally encouraged, uses water to wash with if shouted at enough, and is one of Gods more irritating mistakes.