Im turning my kids into tiny squaddies and im not ashamed

NEQcounter

War Hero
Its not unreasonable to get your kids to make bedpacks and scrub the shitter within an inch of it's life before school is it? Mine are 3 and 4.
 
My lad is 3 and has already got an eye for the ladies.

He's become quite attached to one of the teaching assistants at nursery. When the misses asked him why he likes her so much, he replied:

"Because she's fit."

I appear to be in trouble for some reason.
Mine (same age) walked over to four 18/19 year olds in Tesco the other day and introduced himself with 'hello ladies, you're pretty'.

I reckon he could have had his pick of them at that moment.
 
Just took O/Cdt Bushmills Jnr, aged six, on a BFT, took 25 minutes, cried for mummy and I'm now a bad daddy.

We've got a lot of work to do before Duntroon (or the factory, if I have any say in it.)

Wonder if show parades for monging a run is a bit excessive.
 

Boris_Johnson

ADC
Moderator
DirtyBAT
Just took O/Cdt Bushmills Jnr, aged six, on a BFT, took 25 minutes, cried for mummy and I'm now a bad daddy.

We've got a lot of work to do before Duntroon (or the factory, if I have any say in it.)

Wonder if show parades for monging a run is a bit excessive.
Jesus - if my old man took me on a BFT at midnight on Saturday when everyone else is getting pissed and getting laid, I think I'd cry too....!
 
Round my mates a few weeks ago, and he was knocking up some egg banjos for breakfast. He shouts into the living room to his young lad Liam, who is 5, "Do you want an egg banjo Liam"

The reply, "No I'm good dad but you knock yourself out mate" absolutely priceless.
 
Jesus - if my old man took me on a BFT at midnight on Saturday when everyone else is getting pissed and getting laid, I think I'd cry too....!
Sunday morning down under mate!

PS Give him ten years to develop a taste for sinking piss and chasing skirt.


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My boy is 13 now and it seems he is already beyond redemption. Here are a couple of his recent gems:

Recruiting Stand at the County Show last weekend to a young lad who was peering down the barrel of a Glock,

"No, no, no! Don't ever look down that end. Not unless you're really depressed!"

Then last night he was playing some game online and chatting to the other players when he told one of them to shut up,

"If I wanted to listen to a squeaking mong I'd go and watch Alvin and the Chipmunks!"

Pure class!
 
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Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Bump.

Didn’t tidy his room so it’s watch on stop on in the ops room tonight.

That’ll learn him.
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Nobody then taught their sons how to safely handle a firearm ?
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.
.
Of course, my wife did point out the drum magazine nerf blaster and accompanying sidearm, perhaps I am being a bit OTT, by insisting he keeps the weapon down range and on stoppage takes a knee.
 

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
Nobody then taught their sons how to safely handle a firearm ?
.
.
.
Of course, my wife did point out the drum magazine nerf blaster and accompanying sidearm, perhaps I am being a bit OTT, by insisting he keeps the weapon down range and on stoppage takes a knee.
the kids in our street were having a nerf and water bomb fight so I got out the mag fed thing my brother bought be and put them through some drills.

cue kids pepper potting round the garden screaming reload, move, stoppage and frag out all after noon.

almost as much fun as the snowball mortar we made.
 

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
Does a good job of tracking bogeys until they dissolve off the front of the shirt where you've wiped them.
 
the kids in our street were having a nerf and water bomb fight so I got out the mag fed thing my brother bought be and put them through some drills.

cue kids pepper potting round the garden screaming reload, move, stoppage and frag out all after noon.

almost as much fun as the snowball mortar we made.
Astonishing things, far better than the cap guns I had when I was kid.... Though chucking grenades(half bricks) is something i decided against teaching him.
 

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