I'm surprised non of you spotted this....

Auld-Yin

ADC
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#2
Not being a devoted reader of the Westmoreland GazetteI am not surprised I missed it. However, makes for interesting reading, especially as it was a truck driver that shopped her. She must have told him to feck off and she was enjoying her oanism.

The statement that the driver saw half her bottom exposed while masturbating as she was driving makes one wonder - how did he see half her bum? What position was she in at the time and that must have been some driving to maintain control, especially if she had reached the vinegar stroke (or female equiv).

Nice to note her son is a soldier and was going to be deployed to Afghanistan. FiveAlpha, is that your Mum?
 
#3
The paper didn't include a picture of her then? Just so we could judge her!

Did she get caught on speed camera? Would've made a nice pic!
 
#6
no wonder she was forced to resort to self-pleasuring...even in Cumbria.
 
#8
no wonder she was forced to resort to self-pleasuring...even in Cumbria.
Didnt she win the Miss Cumbria title in 2009???
 
#10
#11
I've shared this story round my female colleagues. Best quote so far:

Oh my god. I can only just manage to drive with the radio on......
We're having quite a lively discussion about this. Firstly, what sort of stupid mong is she to admit to it when pulled over by the plod? Did the trucker produce photographic evidence? Secondly, if she was overtaking him and assuming his truck cab is taller than her car, what position was he in to see? Or was she driving a convertible?

The mind boggles...
 
#12
I've shared this story round my female colleagues. Best quote so far:



We're having quite a lively discussion about this. Firstly, what sort of stupid mong is she to admit to it when pulled over by the plod? Did the trucker produce photographic evidence? Secondly, if she was overtaking him and assuming his truck cab is taller than her car, what position was he in to see? Or was she driving a convertible?

The mind boggles...
The sticky gear-stick was the give-away when the plod pulled her over. She had incredible clutch control for only using one foot but jumped from 3rd to 4th somewhat erratically.
 
#13
The quote that made me laugh was that she was depressed so she masturbated to make her feel better!! With a mug that fucking ugly, it's going to take a lot of wanking to make that ugly bastard feel better!!!
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#14
Bit rich of a lorry driver to grass her up for having a gwank on the motorway - shouldn't he have been watch8ing he road instead, or looking for prozzies to murder or something?
 
#15
She doesn't look like she's been doing a very good job of pleasuring herself!
Surely you wouldn't rather she had a go at you?
 
#16
Her son gets posted to Afghanistan so Mum goes and has a wank? Whatever happened to knitting the poor bastard some socks?
 

the_boy_syrup

LE
Book Reviewer
#17
Her son gets posted to Afghanistan so Mum goes and has a wank? Whatever happened to knitting the poor bastard some socks?
What happened to just worrying about him like they used to do?

It'll be a lovely bluey when it arrives

Dear Son,
Everyone here fine dad says hello as does your sister and the dog
i've ben nicked for naked wanking whilst driving on the M6
I'm in the paper and on that nice website you use so all your squaddie mates can see me
Hope everything is well do you need anything

Try and stay safe
Mum
 
#18
Wonder whether he's applied for the deed poll changing his name yet?
 
#19
Am I alone in seeing the extreme irony of a truck driver dobbing someone in for wanking whilst at the wheel of their vehicle? No doubt the professional was offended and alarmed at the thought of somebody unqualified feeding her own pony, whilst directing a moving conveyance? After all it takes years of training to learn how to "polish the one eyed gopher whilst steering an eighteen wheeler".
 
#20
Can you imagine his NCOs? "Alright you lot, anyone whose mother hasn't been nicked for swamping herself while driving then having a wank, take one step forward. WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING, THAT MAN?"
 

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