Im such a smug c*nt

#1
I just wanted to say, I absolutley love my life.

I have just been told that my application for promotion (in civvie land) has been accepted, I'm getting a 20% payrise, my training for the TA starts next friday and I'm going home later to me 21 year old stunning girlfriend (who had a boob job a few months ago) to bang the sh*t out of her!

:boogie:
 
#2
F uck off
 
#3
merriman said:
I just wanted to say, I absolutley love my life.

I have just been told that my application for promotion (in civvie land) has been accepted, I'm getting a 20% payrise, my training for the TA starts next friday and I'm going home later to me 21 year old stunning girlfriend (who had a boob job a few months ago) to bang the sh*t out of her!

:boogie:
And next Friday, it's somebody else's turn.
 
#6
merriman said:
I just wanted to say, I absolutley love my life.

I have just been told that my application for promotion (in civvie land) has been accepted, I'm getting a 20% payrise, my training for the TA starts next friday and I'm going home later to me 21 year old stunning girlfriend (who had a boob job a few months ago) to bang the sh*t out of her!

:boogie:
I'm just leaving your place, sorry, I think I have the clap.
 
#7
Jammy b*stard !
I work for myself, am f*cking loaded, no bird but a phone full of dizzy horsey types who for the price of a spag bol are very enthusiastic and I DONT dress up on weekends and pretend Im in the army !
Joy !
 
#9
merriman said:
I just wanted to say, I absolutley love my life.

I have just been told that my application for promotion (in civvie land) has been accepted, I'm getting a 20% payrise, my training for the TA starts next friday and I'm going home later to me 21 year old stunning girlfriend (who had a boob job a few months ago) to bang the sh*t out of her!

:boogie:
All that would be great if I hadn't just given her a dose whilst you were out earning that pay rise.

The t1ts aren't bad. I'm glad I never had to pay for them though if I'm honest as she doesn't like me spraying my muck on them more than once a day.

Is she the same with you?
 
#10
reni_77 said:
Jammy b*stard !
I work for myself, am f*cking loaded, no bird but a phone full of dizzy horsey types who for the price of a spag bol are very enthusiastic and I DONT dress up on weekends and pretend Im in the army !
Joy !
And yer still owe me a tenner :D
 
#12
I am leaving the UK on Oct 30th to take up a job in the Caribbean and I won't be back until April 2010. I have the option of going again should I wish.

That is what is called being a Smug Cunt.

:D
 
#14
merriman said:
I just wanted to say, I absolutley love my life.

I have just been told that my application for promotion (in civvie land) has been accepted, I'm getting a 20% payrise, my training for the TA starts next friday and I'm going home later to me 21 year old stunning girlfriend (who had a boob job a few months ago) to bang the sh*t out of her!

:boogie:
So, you are going from £4.83 per hour to £5.80 per hour. And your girlfreind is either so ugly or so insecure (or, possibly, both) that she needs plastic surgery to make her acceptable.

No, just regular please, and can I have a Fanta with that?
 
#15
Gungythree said:
reni_77 said:
Jammy b*stard !
I work for myself, am f*cking loaded, no bird but a phone full of dizzy horsey types who for the price of a spag bol are very enthusiastic and I DONT dress up on weekends and pretend Im in the army !
Joy !
And yer still owe me a tenner :D
Prove it ! I fall for that skit every time I go on the lash ! :D
 
#16
merriman said:
I have just been told that due to my arrse kissing I'm getting promoted and I don't care that everyone else at work hates me. As I'm not good enough for the Regs and a bit of a fatty I'm also joining the TA. I'd better fek off home cos my bird has got my credit card and it's nearly maxed out after I paid to get her t1ts sorted and she now lets me have a quick shag every Friday God I must be good cos she doesn't feel like it any other time
:boogie:


Sorted for you :D
 
#17
Markintime said:
LancePrivateJones said:
I am leaving the UK on Oct 30th to take up a job in the Caribbean and I won't be back until April 2010. I have the option of going again should I wish.

That is what is called being a Smug Cunt.

:D
If true I, for one, will miss your contributions to this site.
It is true I'm afraid, but you will be dismayed to hear that I will still be logging in from time to time, in between Strawberry Daquiris anyway,
 
#18
LancePrivateJones said:
I am leaving the UK on Oct 30th to take up a job in the Caribbean and I won't be back until April 2010. I have the option of going again should I wish.

That is what is called being a Smug Cunt.

:D
Remove Caribbean insert Afghanistan
 
#19
LancePrivateJones said:
I am leaving the UK on Oct 30th to take up a job in the Caribbean and I won't be back until April 2010. I have the option of going again should I wish.

That is what is called being a Smug Cunt.

:D
So home from home, as far as gun crime and ethnic mix for you :p
 
#20
SUNRAY_MINOR said:
LancePrivateJones said:
I am leaving the UK on Oct 30th to take up a job in the Caribbean and I won't be back until April 2010. I have the option of going again should I wish.

That is what is called being a Smug Cunt.

:D
Remove Caribbean insert Afghanistan
Fucking hope not as I left the Army yonks ago.

I will check the paperwork again though.

Helmand province is in Barbados is'nt it?
 

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