I'm Spazticus

Slightly off thread....reading a book about US stand up comedians last week and there was a story in it about Kirk Douglas's son bombing at thre London Comedy Store.
He was so bad that he resorted to the "Don't you know I'm Kirk Douglas's son?" routine.
Audience members immediately came back with "I'M Kirk Douglas's son!".
Well I thought it was funny.
Years back, on hand feeding a giraffe in the zoo, I began to daydream about having a giraffe tongue - about a foot long, black and the texture of wet velvet.

I could lick my eyebrows and scratch my ears to impress the women, but it would make speaking impossible and interfere with the intake of bevvies.

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