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Im sorry.

I'm sorry toilet, you shouldn't have had to deal with the turd I have just produced. I, too, was surprised and awe struck by it's deep brown colour and large diameter. I apologise for drinking so much red wine at the mess ball last night, I promise that it will be at least 3 months until we run the risk of another scary adventure.
Well I'm please that I'm not the only one that left a shit of Epic proportions in the throne, but why feel so guilty about it mucca? The toilet should be regared as a tool of your immense capabilities, just like the slapper you pulled the other night. Open up her hole, drop your trousers, do the deed then fuck off with your head held high.

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