My sister is a right Snob .. an Audi driving posh chavette who looks down her nose at everyone who doesnt have a house as big as hers. As I drink Beer, fart, and generally consider a one night stand as commitment I am obviously a bit of a disappointment. To amuse myself I have started trying to get my extremely naive nephew to say the worst things at the most opportune times. This has provided me with many a chuckle at her expense but the little sod is starting to wise up now. Last month I told him that double index finger pointing at his Dad and winking while saying "Mong" in the manner of a grandfather clock striking the hour is a compliment to his extremely witty jokes and will be appreciated. Apparently he pulled this trick over Christmas dinner when his Dad cracked a joke .. my old man nearly choked on a sprout and he only recently got out of his room. I got him to tell his mum that he likes Girls Aloud music videos. I convinced him to ask his mum for the one called "Five Girls and One Cup" .. the dozy bint googled for it .. That was a fun phone call. I have just got back from seeing her and my brainwashing has succeeded better than I had hoped. He now shouts "Gwaaaaarrrrrr" at every ginger person he sees, refers to his mums gay neighbour as "the man who likes Fudge" and has almost perfected the art of saying "Bullsh1t" as a sneeze. I have told him this should be done when his mum finishes talking when her friends are round. I am running out of ideas though that are bad enough to try but safe enough to get away with. Any Ideas ??