I'm reviewing the situation...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Cuddles, Jul 8, 2010.

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  1. Last night I found myself in conversation with two perfectly charming, well-groomed and impeccably turned out young men. Well thirty-ish. They were obviously well-heeled and arrived in a convertible "10" reg car.

    They were of course filthy depraved arse invaders and therefore anathema to all righteous and self-righteous hetero tigers. Except of course they really were very personable, told a cracking joke about monkeys and a a rugby team, bought their round and showed a good appreciation of rugby football. They were both gold season ticket holders at the Rec. gloucester fans may now nod sagely as if to say "told you so".

    They are both in gainful employ - one with a well known computer firm (oh look out of the Windows!) and the other self-employed. They both wore expensive but not flashy clothes and had nice watches. They have no children and do pretty much what they like all of the time. Without boasting, they made it clear that they spend a lot of their time together having sex. They plan to retire "young" and then spend time between their two houses - one of which is already paid for and the other will be by then.

    As I made my way home, I mused on my well-paid job that nevertheless still seems to leave a lot of month at the end of the money. I considered my 51 reg car. I mused on the fact that I cannot do a thing I like at the weekend because "Dad's Taxis" are stagging on from Friday to Sunday. I laughingly discounted what i describe as a sex life but is really more of a random series of sexual events, seperated by extensive begging or what TFB calls "foreplay".

    Gentlemen, huge piles of money, a house of your choice, good cars, fine wines, plenty of leisure activities and the occasional butt-fcuk....or a "normal" life.

    It is no longer looking like the no-brainer it used to be! where are those pink cords of mine? Gervaise? Brace yourself love!
  2. Sod being gay..........................can't stand pain! Oh and i'm not the only "dad's taxi" on here then i see!
  3. Do you wear a signet ring?
  4. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Jesus Cuddles. Cudds. May I call you Cuddlypoos? This is the age old '8 malts up in a bothy near Inverness' convo.

    Yes, fruitbats have it better than us. They go to a Kylie concert and do not pick a fight with the door staff. They know hair products, shopping, valances, thrown-together-salads and their picture frames match their soft furnishings.

    But you ignore the reach-around issue.

    Do you want to find a slippery slit with a clit?

    Or a hairy bag of spanners?
  5. Personally I blame Lord Shaftesbury. If I could get the rugrats working now, it could reverse the similar month-money situation Cuddles alludes to. What's wrong with living off the toil of one's children?

    One point to highlight though is we are already being financially raped by the little sods. I suppose being gay gives you more of a say
  6. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Thanks for your input, but his is a serious discussion among heterosexual men about being hard and politicaly correct in 2010. There is no place here for filthy sodomites like you.

    Are you doing anything tomorrow evening?
  7. If you know what taupe is, reach for Kleenex when Sex In The City 2 comes out on DVD and pass quickly over the first 30 pages of a Marshall and Ward catalogue until you reach the blerks section then, yes, you are erring to the French style of lurve.

    However, I charge you now, never to eat the poo-poo.
  8. Could you do us all a favour and wear a noose around your neck?
  9. Cuddles, have you ever considered a career in sales?
  10. With a thread title that obviously refers to musical theatre, it seems you've already taken that first step.

    The misogynist lyrics of your choice are a bit of a giveaway, too. Are you wearing, or have you ever knowingly worn, a cravat? I think we should be told.
  11. I think Cuddles may have a point here. Chap I know steps off with the other foot and he is minted as well as being very well turned out. Qualified mechanic as well, so he is able to talk a good engine. enjoy's a beer festival as much as the next man. Can explain the offside trap using cruet and bottles of sauce. tells bawdy jokes and flirts outrageously with the ladies. Works when it suits him, or when he's not ragging his motorboat between his house on the Isle of White and his house in Gosport. Thats when he's not in his villa overlooking Barcelona of course. Or at his skiing lodage.
    same age as me, and he was good enough to let me have a cabby in his 09 model Aston Martin the other week. After we had both spent the morning at a trackday thrashing his Ariel Atom round the track. He declined a drive in my 1994 VW Polo.

    Did I make the wrong decision? Should I have bent and taken the strain back in secondary school?
  12. This is indeed quite a quandary you seem to have stumbled across.....

    Go somewhere in the middle, get the best of both lifestyles.
    And a sore arse.
  13. Ah now you see the mistake you made was having kids!!... no kids = a life....
  14. id consider shopping at new look if i was you
  15. Don't knock it until you've tried it.