Im I being selfish??

#1
Hiya I have 3 kids aged 10 6 and 1 and Im joining up, I understand that for the first year or so I wont see them as much as I would want to but joining the army is somthing I have always wanted to do, I can't help feeling selfish towards my children. Has anyone else been in this situation? If I make it to basic they will have their dad to watch them. I know I will miss them all so much, I just dont want to come home and them not remembering me.
 
#3
Thats what I keep thinking, my husband has been in the army for years and he thinks its great me doing it, im 28 so not the youngest person doing it but I know I can give it my best.
 
#4
Look at it like this-is your hubby a stranger to the kids, having been in the army for years? If not, then surely you'll be OK?
 
#6
Pack ya bags love Satan's waiting for you by the bus!!!

You'll be fine the eldest will understand and the youngest will be to youing to notice too much, however whos looking after them during the day if your old mans a soldier aswell?
 
#8
How will that work if your other half gets deployed? Or is he off "the list" until you're qualified and posted to a nearby unit?
 
#9
nel88 said:
Pack ya bags love Satan's waiting for you by the bus!!!

You'll be fine the eldest will understand and the youngest will be to youing to notice too much, however whos looking after them during the day if your old mans a soldier aswell?
The Childminder, and my mam and dad is only 5 hours drive away if my hubby needs them I will only be away for 14 weeks (well untill phase 2), I watch the kids alone all the time for 6 months when hes on tour lol, the kids will be fine but its the hubby Im worried about.
 
#10
Closet_Jibber said:
How will that work if your other half gets deployed? Or is he off "the list" until you're qualified and posted to a nearby unit?
He is due to go to Afghan in Oct next year, we are going to see how long it takes me to get to basic if I pass selection then we will work something out.
 
#12
Im 21 and don't have any dependants but from my own view the children come first and taking care of them is numeral uno in the que, not the lasses dreams, not argueing by the way miss but what happens if you both get posted for 6 month tours? Your mum and dad are very nice individuals to take care of ya children for 6 months :D
 
#13
Plan for the worst but take advantage of the good times. Whatever you do, never use your childcare as an issue for you not being able to do anything, master that and you will both do fine. If you cannot do this expect to be at loggerheads with your husband as to whose career is more important.

Oh and make the most of that double wage ;) (no I don't mean a mahoosive BMW 4x4 in the driveway).
 
#15
nel88 said:
Im 21 and don't have any dependants but from my own view the children come first and taking care of them is numeral uno in the que, not the lasses dreams, not argueing by the way miss but what happens if you both get posted for 6 month tours? Your mum and dad are very nice individuals to take care of ya children for 6 months :D
My children always have come first I had my first at 17 (yeah I know we should of used something) and since having her I was single mum with 2 day jobs just because I never wanted to go on the dole that was hard but I done it and I also went to college and got a diploma. I done that so I could save to buy my daughter the things she wanted. when she was 3 I met my now husband and got married had a baby and then he went to Iraq when my son was tiny.....sorry Im going on now lol.... Anyway what im getting at is....Joining the army has been the on the top of my list since I was 16 (I grew up with the army life as my dad was in for 22 years) I just think I should go for it, It my 10 year old thinks its a great idea and every day she tells me she can not wait till Im a soldier, my son thinks girls should not be alowed in the army lol. If we both get 6 month tours Im sure one of us will be able to stay behind on rear party. if not then we will deal with it when the time comes. sorry for going on lol
 
#16
Disco said:
Plan for the worst but take advantage of the good times. Whatever you do, never use your childcare as an issue for you not being able to do anything, master that and you will both do fine. If you cannot do this expect to be at loggerheads with your husband as to whose career is more important.

Oh and make the most of that double wage ;) (no I don't mean a mahoosive BMW 4x4 in the driveway).
I would never use childcare as an excuse for anything I like to think Im well prepared for anything lol. My husband thinks its great im doing this and we both know he wears the trousers at work (even though Im best mates with his RSM lol) and I do at home lol. Ohhh yea the double wage new shoes all round x
 
#17
i know you've grown up with the army and that and no i don't think you are being selfish, i'd say a little naive.

He gets a six monther, you get a six monther, you are both going. si9ngle parent TA get no extra help so they won't see why you should. It also depends on his job/your job choice as i've known support teeth like clerks and dentists move together alot but that's about it.

I think you need to think about the double tour and decide whether it'd work. remembering the army don't give a shit for your circumstances and it'd be a big strain then...one that could be avoided by dealing with the fact that you've walked into a percentage of parents who's kids stop some of their 'dreams'

why not try the TA for a while??

Or why not get a quarter and live in childcare. That's one way round and you'll have to take the wage hit for a few years to pay them but hey, you could both be green and threaders then.....
 
#18
cheggarsRE said:
i know you've grown up with the army and that and no i don't think you are being selfish, i'd say a little naive.

He gets a six monther, you get a six monther, you are both going. si9ngle parent TA get no extra help so they won't see why you should. It also depends on his job/your job choice as i've known support teeth like clerks and dentists move together alot but that's about it.

I think you need to think about the double tour and decide whether it'd work. remembering the army don't give a s*** for your circumstances and it'd be a big strain then...one that could be avoided by dealing with the fact that you've walked into a percentage of parents who's kids stop some of their 'dreams'

why not try the TA for a while??

Or why not get a quarter and live in childcare. That's one way round and you'll have to take the wage hit for a few years to pay them but hey, you could both be green and threaders then.....
Hiya, yeah we do have a quarter and we are thinking about differant types of child care, I have spoke to alot of soldiers who are married to soldiers with kids and they are saying it not that hard (but we dont know what happens behind closed doors) being away together and the children have been fine, but that was only for a weeks exercise, they have never been on tour at the same time, but they are just waiting for it to happen one day.
I think your right though I do need to think about it alot more, and in the mean time keep on top of my fitness.
Thank you everyone for helping me out xx
 

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