Im going to Miami for Spring Break!

#1
Hello chaps!

I've been a bit elusive lately, I’ve been having a lot of fun as my company has been foolish enough to give me my own car. I’ve been driving about causing chaos in London as I don’t really know where I’m going & my satnav is quite confusing, I had to go around the Blackwall tunnel twice today! Those poor deluded fools clearly have no idea of what I’m capable of doing to that vehicle… :wink:

But I digress, my real reason for posting here is to proclaim that I am going on a rather fab trip to Miami on Monday for the US Spring Break. There I hope to corrupt as many of our colonial cousins as possible & perform some obscene acts with their maidens. I hear they become quite brisk at the sound of a British accent, I’m hoping to introduce them to the fine art of bumming & claim it’s an old English past time. :) Naturally there’s some diplomacy involved too as a way of vengeance & retribution for the caddish behaviour of the GI’s when they came over here in WWII. I still haven’t forgiven my dear auntie Betty for collaborating with those fiendish bounders after being irresistibly persuaded by silk stockings & chocolate…

I’m not quite sure what to expect, but I fancy it will be week to remember, has anyone been to Miami before? If so, what did you make of it :?

I remain &c,

~D.C.
 
#2
Dashing_Chap said:
I don’t really know where I’m going & my satnav is quite confusing, I had to go around the Blackwall tunnel twice today!
You're a fucking mong then as the only options are north and south. :roll:
 
#3
What a plonker
 
#4
DozyBint said:
Dashing_Chap said:
I don’t really know where I’m going & my satnav is quite confusing, I had to go around the Blackwall tunnel twice today!
You're a fucking mong then as the only options are north and south. :roll:
You're giving him much to much credit. This didn't happen. Neither is he going to Miami for spring break.

What he means is that his carers have told him that he's going to the park to see the ducks on Monday and if he's lucky he'll get to feed them.
 
#5
Spring Break in Miami is fantastic, just hit the beach front bars from when it gets dark and your laughing mate. Many good memories from there just dont go wandering on the beach at night as the cops get a little nervous about people and drug smuggling if i remember correctly. Also try and get down to Key West thats not to bad but dont annoy those septic marines of you drink em under the table they tend to get a little uppity. You lucky cnut have a good time
 
#6
dhgrainger1 said:
You're giving him much to much credit. This didn't happen. Neither is he going to Miami for spring break.

What he means is that his carers have told him that he's going to the park to see the ducks on Monday and if he's lucky he'll get to feed them.
I know all the posts are made-up dross, but I felt like biting on that point as even my mother can navigate the Blackwall Tunnel!

I actually think that DC is Jarrod's alter ego! :wink:
 
#7
DozyBint said:
dhgrainger1 said:
You're giving him much to much credit. This didn't happen. Neither is he going to Miami for spring break.

What he means is that his carers have told him that he's going to the park to see the ducks on Monday and if he's lucky he'll get to feed them.
I know all the posts are made-up dross, but I felt like biting on that point as even my mother can navigate the Blackwall Tunnel!

I actually think that DC is Jarrod's alter ego! :wink:
Jarrod couldn't write that eloquently, he's from places oop north and speaks like he should be racing whippets, ferrets or pigeons or all three in fact. Mind, DC is a complete fcukwit
 
#8
Him and Gator can finally consumate that ball-gag and motor-oil thingy, then.
 

Command_doh

LE
Book Reviewer
#10
Thrashing Cnut persists on posting here, no matter how often and enthusiastically we abuse his insincerity, his falseness and his perceived aloofness.

Don't give him the pleasure of further responses, as it just encourages him to annoy us all the more
 
#13
Dashing_Chap said:
Hello chaps!

I've been a bit elusive lately, I’ve been having a lot of fun as my company has been foolish enough to give me my own car. I’ve been driving about causing chaos in London as I don’t really know where I’m going & my satnav is quite confusing, I had to go around the Blackwall tunnel twice today!...blah..blah..waffle..squeek..grunt..etc

I remain &c,

~D.C.
I think you will find that you 'go around' roundabouts DC.

You 'go through' tunnels.

Been on the meths again old chep?
 
#14
DC:

You will be there during Stone Crab season (15 OCT-15 MAY) Try some. Hard shell but tasty.

Also, Calle Ocho (8th Ave) is the main street of Little Havana. Great Cuban food and save room to go to a Cuban pastry shop afterwards.
 
#16
Going via Heathrow my dear fellow, thanks for the advice chaps, duly noted! Now I have to cause some chaos in the mid Kent village area as it's Mothers Day & we're going out for a spot of nosh.

~D.C.
 
#17
Dashing_Chap said:
Going via Heathrow my dear fellow, thanks for the advice chaps, duly noted! Now I have to cause some chaos in the mid Kent village area as it's Mothers Day & we're going out for a spot of nosh.

~D.C.
You're eating your mum's trap out? That sick DC. Even on here that's very very sick. Yuk.
 
#18
Dashing_Chap said:
Going via Heathrow my dear fellow, thanks for the advice chaps, duly noted! Now I have to cause some chaos in the mid Kent village area as it's Mothers Day & we're going out for a spot of nosh.

~D.C.
Thrashing cunt, do us a favour and go and meet up with Ctauch (Ballbag) he will show you the sites, and hopefully leave you dead in a ditch, after smashing you repeatedly around the head with some snooker balls in a sock.

Love and wet ones, Dale xxxx
 
#19
Dashing_Chap said:
I've been a bit elusive lately.....
Not elusive enough, you f*cking cock knocker.

I'm eternally surprised that people type proper responses to your posts... "Make sure you visit South Beach!"
South Beach indeed. The closest you're getting is South Shields.
Go and die, you f*cking rotter.
 
#20
D_C, I hope you get raped in Miami. Not just said for comedic value on an anonymous internet site; I actually REALLY want you to be hurt by some no-necked East Coast brother, who will cut your p3nis off as his version of the 'reach around', stuff it down your throat and having blowtorched your testes will then track your family down to whatever bed-sit sh1t ridden hole they reside in and continue the carnage. I hope you have HIV you nonse
 

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