Im fed up with internet porn........

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by vvaannmmaann, Jun 23, 2009.

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  1. Right,the wife has gone to see her sister.She'll be gone all night.
    Apart from the pub and porn what else can I do? Casual sex with a stranger is a non starter.............
     
  2. You could try text sex with MDN.
     
  3. If your fed up with internet porn your not looking hard enough (fnarr fnarr) do you have a webcam? try masturbating for complete strangers and see if you can get kicks that way
     
  4. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Wasn't it Ben Johnson who said 'When a man is bored with internet porn, he is bored with life'?
     
  5. How about grabbing the roofies, van and black nasty and heading out for a night on the town
     
  6. find your local dogging site and smash one out watching guys bang some 45 year old tramp. if you can get it on your phone and send it to me thats even better. i have nothing to do tonight.
     
  7. Make friends with them first then.
    :roll:
     
  8. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Make it a more formal sort of sex. Wear a suit and shirt with tie. Or mess dress.
     
  9. I'd recommend Arrse chat, but it's not as filthy as it used to be.
     
  10. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    That's because you haven't been in for ages!
     
  11. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    Not exactly, but I can see where you are coming from, so to speak!
     
  12. I might have to give that a view.
    I'm sure I can drag it down into the sewer.
     
  13. Casual sex with a strange object

    Send taxis to mates house for an urgent airport run at daft O'clock

    Cut out all the 'free-post order now - pay later' coupons from the weekends post/papers and fill them out for one person

    Close/divert a street/main road

    Fill up a massive trolley load of junk in your local supermarket let it all get tallied make sure there are a load of paracetamol, ibuprofen, aspirin and various other drugs left til last - when they say you can only have a maximum of 3 packs; say sod it - I'll go somewhere else and leave them to put it all back

    Go shopping solely from other peoples baskets/trolleys - also move them around while you're there - works great if there are kids in the trolleys

    Go to a cinema and shout FIRE!

    See how many marbles you can shove up your arrse before your missus gets back

    Do your own tattoo

    Phone the Samaritans

    Plant some canabis in the local police stations gardens

    I'll try and think of some more ideas for you. :)
     
  14. Ha! That made me chuckle!!
     
  15. Alsacien

    Alsacien LE Moderator

    That what she told you?
    I suggest following her......