Im being sued

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Mighty_doh_nut, Jul 26, 2008.

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  1. I got back from hols to find a solicitors letter from some bandit ambulance chasing company saying they sought details of the indemnity policy and personal injury liabilty for the gun club which I attend and that legal action was being brought against me by a fat whore in a wheel chair.

    Some weeks ago I bought a GSG5........ basically a .22 semi auto carbine, identical in looks to an MP5. I was happily shooting away at 30 yds on the firing point when this porky obnoxious hobbly was concentrating more on me than on herself, I was in charge of the range, so I made mine safe, stepped back and corrected the position of her rifle, before carrying on.

    I picked up mine again and carried on, I put about 4-500 through it that evening.

    She is claiming that a .22 cartridge case from my rifle, leapt from being extracted, went down the front of her jumper and burnt her fat neck, causing burns sufficient enough to warrant her seeing a plastic surgeon.

    At first I thought it was a prank so called the Ambulance chaser to see if it was serious.

    Now I know there is little chance of her winning, and I'm going to have to fund my defence myself as the club is skint and can't afford to excess on the policy. Because I am childish, spiteful and with nothing better to do I want to cause her as much expence as possible, waste as much of their time and recources as possible and generally make her really regret being a fat grabbing whore.

    At the time range rules were being adhered to by the letter, backed up by five other shooters. All the cases went in the same place-ish, apart from the one that injured her so badly.

    My initial responce to the claim:

     
  2. The most fitting response I've seen since John Prescott snotted the egg thrower. You have missed your calling, turn away from soft furry animals and don the sharkskin suit of the legal world. Did they manage to calculate the percentage of burn using the Rule of Nine, or did they just kick Professor Hawking out of his misshapen maggot and seek his assistance?
     
  3. Brilliant response to an absurd claim! You should clamp the conniving sluts wheelchair.
     
  4. More apt would have been to direct m´learnéd ambulance chaser to the answer given in Arkell v Pressdram.

    :D
     
  5. Hahahaha.

    Genius.
     
  6. Feck me, You're Rumpole are'nt you.... MDN of the Bailey
     
  7. Best of luck, MDN. You might want to run a spellchecker over your letter, although I doubt they'd notice that you'd mangled Burnley.

    Perhaps she just fancies you.
     
  8. Is that akin to kicking little girls in the shins on the playground when you were a kid cause you fancy them?
     
  9. Classic! You have to post the response!
     
  10. She will now sue for hurt feelings over being called fat. May also try to finesse the bit about 'dribbling' into anti-mong prejudice.
     
  11. Some Doris' will do anything to get your attention.
     
  12. Bloody inspired mate!
     
  13. I'Ve got a .22 Bremmer S/A that spits hot cartridges out, which sometimes bounce off the firing point baffle and down my neck. Stings a bit, but its never left a mark on me. (And I have baby soft skin, and I moisturise daily)

    I'll bet the whore's not really a raspberry either, and she only fakes the wheelchair for the blue badge and free parking not to mention that it enhances her victim status!

    It wouldnt surprise me if she has a history of vexatious litigation.

    Send that letter.
     
  14. And re-mangled Lauda
     
  15. Excellent!! I wish I could write like that!! Have at 'em.