Im after some well needed advice.

Discussion in 'The Other Half' started by Tallblondebird, Apr 20, 2010.

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  1. Ok here we go, it may get long!

    Basically, the husband is posted to Germany for a 3 year posting (currently done 7 months) and for quite a few reasons i wasn't able to go with him.
    Some of those reasons are, i am unable to fly or travel for longer than 3 hours without sufficent breaks due to having a blood disorder (i have a medical letter declaring this), also after spending 7 months on my own 6 hours away from family whilst he was in Afghan, i didn't want to up and leave all my family again knowing it would be even harder to get home due to the no flight thing.
    Another reason being our pet dog Staffordshie bull terrier isn't allowed into Germany, which you may say "its only a dog" but to us thats not the case. Also my husband had been told he would be forever away on courses, tours etc and that i would be on my own alot of the time. There are also a few more personal reasons such as my mothers health, where i wanted to be within a fair distance incase she needed me etc etc.
    So at the minute i am in surplus housing, still away from family, no friends but slightly closer to home. The problem is this and you may laugh, but i am slowly losing the plot. I truely believe the immense pressure on the marriage (we see husband once every 3 months if we are lucky) is causing massive problems for us, i am suffering badly from some kind of being constantly down ( which is not me at all!) and is not good for my health or my babys.I truely believe that if we are apart from each other for the rest of the 3 year posting, then we will no longer be married at the end of it! I need advice please guys. I hate to think the loss my husband feels not seeing his baby and me very often, as its killing me! Many thanks a very miserable mammy!
  2. Cow

    Cow LE

  3. I've posted it in the wrong place you mean?
  4. BiscuitsAB

    BiscuitsAB LE Moderator

    Well not technically no, however there is a whole site at rearparty geared up for other halfs.
  5. Rear Party is specifically set up for this kind of thing, people in the same boat, been there done that kind of place! This lot over here (known as the Dark Side) will only abuse you and demand to see your chebs/gink/bumhole so ignore anything they say and come across the road...we're MUCH nicer (but never fluffy...YAK)
  6. Many thanks, sorry for offending anybody putting it here. I'll pop over there for advice. Cheers.
  7. You're more likely to get people who have endured similar and have some, albeit alcohol soaked, sympathy (and even the odd bit of useful advice) than the replies from the bitter and twisted squaddies (coughs ...) you'll face here!

    Best of luck (my first non-op posting was 400 miles from home, married unaccompanied and working 3 out of 4 weekends ... Still married, 14 years on. But now a reservist.)
  8. in_the_cheapseats

    in_the_cheapseats LE Moderator

    Why don't you just take a week to travel out to Ge, make it a holiday and get the Q there? Do your short trips and keep within the direction you have been given.

    With hubby, in house, in community set up - which are always better in Germany than they are in UK (my experience anyway), jobs a good one.

    Living apart for that length of time, particularly if you aren't having a good time now, is not going to get easier.

    Unless there is a specific medical reason why you can't go requiring treatment specifically in the UK, then go. German medical equiv of the NHS is pretty damn good so there shouldn't be aproblem with getting treatment there if you need it either.

    And yes - rearparty is probably the better place for you to get advice and speak to people who are all ready there.

    PS - check you PMs
  9. Well said Bigone. for all is said and done I can probably help.
  10. That's alright, no harm done. Before you go though, can we see your chebs/gink/bumhole etc?