Now that would be worth watching. "Hello, we're Ant and Dec and welcome to 'I'm a Squaddie get me out of here.' Big trouble in the camp today. Fusilier Jones did the bush tucker challenge but only returned with three meals. In a show of support, the rest of the lads got round, called him a puff and strung him up in his dossbag from the nearest tree. Of the 24 hours of footage we recorded today, we are only screening 11 minutes, as the remaining 23hrs 49mins consisted of men trying to thrap quietly in sleeping bags. Skiffing remains a major problem. Corporal Smith has refused to change his undercrackers, despite continued pleading from the production team. The pets given to the competitors have not been seen since day 5. In yesterdays bush tucker trial, Lcpl Harris and Sig Herbert had to take turns eating various insects. 9 meals were secured in 15 seconds and the camera crew had to pull the men apart as they fought over the last 3 Witchetty grubs. Ssgt Hargreaves started the competition wielding authority in a verbally aggressive fashion. He showed up on the morning of Day 3 with two shiners and has moderated his behaviour since"