...you smeared your arse with mackerel paste and then got a woman to lick it off, would it be classified as equality, in a PC sense ? Just asking.
No. Because you wouldn't permanently smell of it. And even if you did you wouldn't bleed for one week in four.
I only ever use cats, normally two. Just the thought of those tiny little pink tongues roughing up my lightly haired buttocks is enough to make me breathless.

I'm logging off for a while now...

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