Yeah, I know. Most of you bastards get asked questions when you snag a bowl of crisps at your 'sisters' wedding, but suspend belief for a moment if you will? Imagine some coffin-dodger has done the decent thing and left you a small castle in the arse end of nowhere. It has a roof so you are paying empty building tax. The grounds are a nightmare but nothing a JCB, a few handy lads and some petrol cannot sort... and on the subject of petrol? No. You fucking cant. For reasons I am not prepared to go into. The roof must stay intact and I do not wish to see my modest inheritance going the crow road. It would not be polite. I'm thinking weddings. Children's parties or maybe corporate events, whatever the fuck they might be. It is either PricewaterHOW_FUCKING_MUCH?coopersLyingBastards, or you lot. Jesus. Was ever a man more beset?