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If you were cast adrift in an open boat...

#1
...with Sluggy and Bigbird for company, which of them would you eat first?

Bear in mind that there's no other food available and you have no idea of how long it will be before you are rescued.

Please provide the reasons for your choice, be they scientific or social. Likes will be awarded for practical and entertaining uses for the inedible bits.
 

Bouillabaisse

LE
Book Reviewer
#6
Are we talking internet boat or real life? Because the Snail is in real life is a 63 year old accountant from Cromer. And there's not a lot of eating on him.
 

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
#7
surely the author is assuming that they would be able to eat one of the ladies before they got to him first.

I think I would play it safe and eat my own legs so I could use the bones to beat them off.
 
C

cloudbuster

Guest
#8
Given the likely topics of conversation of my companions, I'd opt to slip quietly over the side and drown.
 

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
#13
if you hid behind big bird then she would probably not notice you then eat sluggy to shut her up about ponies as she would no doubt spent most of the time looking over the side for seahorses.

mind you I also have visions of a pissed as hell sluggy doing an alien style chest burst having gnawed her way out.
 
#14
Now, I have been reading ARRSE for a fair few years now, but I didn't want to post or get involved in the odd Walt hunt - no matter how seductively abusive - yet I can't work out if either Sluugy are Bigbird are fat, thin, worth 'having a do at' or just like my old CO, who just wanted to be fucked and remain in charge.

My vote is for the thinnest, or the dirtiest, ( or as per Thesiger , the most 'lithely tanned', excluding the Arab boy bit o' course).

So among'st those who are cognizant who should it be 'Sluggy' or 'BigBird', ?.
 
M

Mark The Convict

Guest
#17
I'd favour an Old Man and the Sea scenario, where you reach shore with only the head and a gnawed-off bit, Noahs having eaten the rest.
 
#18
Now, I have been reading ARRSE for a fair few years now, but I didn't want to post or get involved in the odd Walt hunt - no matter how seductively abusive - yet I can't work out if either Sluugy are Bigbird are fat, thin, worth 'having a do at' or just like my old CO, who just wanted to be fucked and remain in charge.

My vote is for the thinnest, or the dirtiest, ( or as per Thesiger , the most 'lithely tanned', excluding the Arab boy bit o' course).

So among'st those who are cognizant who should it be 'Sluggy' or 'BigBird', ?.
When I arranged to meet Sluggy for the first time, she told me to look out for the Army sergeant with the big arse. Nothing helpful like a fucking name. She wasn't there when I arrived, but her internet persona gave me a clue as to which desk was hers.

You've got to be decisive based on the information you've gleaned, so Sluggy or Bigbird?
 

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