If you were cast adrift in an open boat...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by putteesinmyhands, Jun 30, 2012.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. ...with Sluggy and Bigbird for company, which of them would you eat first?

    Bear in mind that there's no other food available and you have no idea of how long it will be before you are rescued.

    Please provide the reasons for your choice, be they scientific or social. Likes will be awarded for practical and entertaining uses for the inedible bits.
     
  2. Book a holiday mate.
     
  3. Vad en skit thread!
     
  4. You'll change your tune when it reaches 500 posts.


    edited to add:

    And you'll find that the Swedish for thread is tråd.





    Fucking polyglot walt
     
  5. As in thead of silk yes, not as in thread of internet bollocks - Swede Walt

    Google translate does not work mate !
     
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Bouillabaisse

    Bouillabaisse LE Book Reviewer

    Are we talking internet boat or real life? Because the Snail is in real life is a 63 year old accountant from Cromer. And there's not a lot of eating on him.
     
  7. Grumblegrunt

    Grumblegrunt LE Book Reviewer

    surely the author is assuming that they would be able to eat one of the ladies before they got to him first.

    I think I would play it safe and eat my own legs so I could use the bones to beat them off.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  8. Given the likely topics of conversation of my companions, I'd opt to slip quietly over the side and drown.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  9. Surely you could make the pony last for a week or two?
     
  10. Would it have the stamina?
     
  11. I'd considered doing this as a poll and that would have been one of the options.
     
  12. I know you're lying because if she came from Cromer, she'd be a crab.
     
  13. Grumblegrunt

    Grumblegrunt LE Book Reviewer

    if you hid behind big bird then she would probably not notice you then eat sluggy to shut her up about ponies as she would no doubt spent most of the time looking over the side for seahorses.

    mind you I also have visions of a pissed as hell sluggy doing an alien style chest burst having gnawed her way out.
     
  14. Now, I have been reading ARRSE for a fair few years now, but I didn't want to post or get involved in the odd Walt hunt - no matter how seductively abusive - yet I can't work out if either Sluugy are Bigbird are fat, thin, worth 'having a do at' or just like my old CO, who just wanted to be fucked and remain in charge.

    My vote is for the thinnest, or the dirtiest, ( or as per Thesiger , the most 'lithely tanned', excluding the Arab boy bit o' course).

    So among'st those who are cognizant who should it be 'Sluggy' or 'BigBird', ?.
     
  15. Google translate is pretty good. Provided that you don't need to merge the words into sentences.

    Anyway, when you say Swede, you probably mean Turnip and there aren't any on the boat.