IF you were a walt

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Busta-Gut, Apr 22, 2008.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. If you were a WALT what would you wear ?


    What would you say to big your self up ?

    Obviously telling people you "minced around the cookhouse in BFG making shit butties" is not going to cut the mustard. No offence to the shit buttie makers of course.

    So do your worst (or best).
  2. I always wanted to be a porn star walt. I guess in that case I would wear my favorite banana holster.
  3. "Chinned my sergeant/officer one for being jack."

    "Member of The Increment.*"

    "Founded ARRSE."

    *A true Walt's Walt, this...
  4. Sweet Jee... FFS DON'T EVER MENTION THE... INCREMENT! Oh... shyte... I just have. Nooooooooooooooooo! 8O
  5. "Aye lad, got kicked out THE regiment because i took on half of B squadron so i did"

    *buying a pint while in North face get up and dessie boots/jeans,alarm on phone goes off at timed moment* "Sir, yes sir....Can you not get anyone from A squadron to do it?, Roger that boss on my way....Sorry mate i err have to go" *throws fiver at barman and legs it "keep the change mate (while phone in other hand) Johhny, yea its me dinger we got a job mate get the lads together"

    *outside sound of car wheels screeching off*

    proceed to come back 2 days later looking exhausted, and having visited the sun bed salon 6 times.

  6. sorry , I thought it said
    "Do you want a MALT,"
    a nice blended Scotch, perhaps
    sorry again
  7. I painted the boathouse at Hereford. :wink:
  8. Left the Regiment after being caught redhanded on black ops in china. Managed to get away on a junk but the rest of my team bought it. MI6 are still looking for me.
  9. That's excellent, all the walts will read that and go off down the pub now. :p
  10. I'd tell you about my time in, but I'd have to kill ya....
  11. Nice double bluff MC, I know you're a walt so you probably do know the colour of the boathouse, as you’ll have prepared you “legend” for the fat mutters you’ve been known to get off with in the past. I, on the other hand, have a character beyond reproach and despite being extensively trained at H don’t even know where the bloody place is - but the chicks still dig me
  12. Do you remember Gulf 1 / TELIc etc? Well i was the first one into Iraq through the breach.

    It seems like most of the British Military, Inf, Armour, RE, REME, Log, AGC, RAF Regt, Navy(?!) were there at the exact same time; f*ck it must hav been crowded.
  13. I painted the boat house and I KNOW what colour it is 8)
  14. NO! yo may think its red but i mixed the fcuking paint, its scarlet with a dash of gold and a sprinkle of B squadrons man juice to make it weather proof, the colour is called "ARABALABABAHAB"

  15. Well I built the boat house. Whilst under enemy fire. Which I held off, armed only with a ruler and a bag of nails. And it only took me an hour.

    Got me knighted, that little job.