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IF you were a walt

#1
If you were a WALT what would you wear ?

or

What would you say to big your self up ?

Obviously telling people you "minced around the cookhouse in BFG making shit butties" is not going to cut the mustard. No offence to the shit buttie makers of course.


So do your worst (or best).
 
#5
"Aye lad, got kicked out THE regiment because i took on half of B squadron so i did"

*buying a pint while in North face get up and dessie boots/jeans,alarm on phone goes off at timed moment* "Sir, yes sir....Can you not get anyone from A squadron to do it?, Roger that boss on my way....Sorry mate i err have to go" *throws fiver at barman and legs it "keep the change mate (while phone in other hand) Johhny, yea its me dinger we got a job mate get the lads together"

*outside sound of car wheels screeching off*

proceed to come back 2 days later looking exhausted, and having visited the sun bed salon 6 times.

Cal
 
#8
Left the Regiment after being caught redhanded on black ops in china. Managed to get away on a junk but the rest of my team bought it. MI6 are still looking for me.
 
#9
callum13 said:
"Aye lad, got kicked out THE regiment because i took on half of B squadron so i did"

*buying a pint while in North face get up and dessie boots/jeans,alarm on phone goes off at timed moment* "Sir, yes sir....Can you not get anyone from A squadron to do it?, Roger that boss on my way....Sorry mate i err have to go" *throws fiver at barman and legs it "keep the change mate (while phone in other hand) Johhny, yea its me dinger we got a job mate get the lads together"

*outside sound of car wheels screeching off*

proceed to come back 2 days later looking exhausted, and having visited the sun bed salon 6 times.

Cal
That's excellent, all the walts will read that and go off down the pub now. :p
 
#11
Nice double bluff MC, I know you're a walt so you probably do know the colour of the boathouse, as you’ll have prepared you “legend” for the fat mutters you’ve been known to get off with in the past. I, on the other hand, have a character beyond reproach and despite being extensively trained at H don’t even know where the bloody place is - but the chicks still dig me
 
#12
Do you remember Gulf 1 / TELIc etc? Well i was the first one into Iraq through the breach.

It seems like most of the British Military, Inf, Armour, RE, REME, Log, AGC, RAF Regt, Navy(?!) were there at the exact same time; f*ck it must hav been crowded.
 
#14
buggrit said:
I painted the boat house and I KNOW what colour it is 8)
NO! yo may think its red but i mixed the fcuking paint, its scarlet with a dash of gold and a sprinkle of B squadrons man juice to make it weather proof, the colour is called "ARABALABABAHAB"

Cal
 
#15
callum13 said:
buggrit said:
I painted the boat house and I KNOW what colour it is 8)
NO! yo may think its red but i mixed the fcuking paint, its scarlet with a dash of gold and a sprinkle of B squadrons man juice to make it weather proof, the colour is called "ARABALABABAHAB"

Cal
Well I built the boat house. Whilst under enemy fire. Which I held off, armed only with a ruler and a bag of nails. And it only took me an hour.

Got me knighted, that little job.
 
#16
I was awarded a VC, in secret, because I was in 24 SAS.

24 SAS is so secret even serving SAS members have never heard of it, we recruit by going to credinhill and snatching SAS men from their beds, then telling their wives and children they have run off with a younger woman and gone awol.

If you try to leave 24 SAS you are killed, cept me, I got away.
 
#17
skintboymike said:
callum13 said:
buggrit said:
I painted the boat house and I KNOW what colour it is 8)
NO! yo may think its red but i mixed the fcuking paint, its scarlet with a dash of gold and a sprinkle of B squadrons man juice to make it weather proof, the colour is called "ARABALABABAHAB"

Cal
Well I built the boat house. Whilst under enemy fire. Which I held off, armed only with a ruler and a bag of nails. And it only took me an hour.

Got me knighted, that little job.
A whole bag of nails? puff
 
#18
callum13 said:
"Aye lad, got kicked out THE regiment because i took on half of B squadron so i did"

*buying a pint while in North face get up and dessie boots/jeans,alarm on phone goes off at timed moment* "Sir, yes sir....Can you not get anyone from A squadron to do it?, Roger that boss on my way....Sorry mate i err have to go" *throws fiver at barman and legs it "keep the change mate (while phone in other hand) Johhny, yea its me dinger we got a job mate get the lads together"

*outside sound of car wheels screeching off*

proceed to come back 2 days later looking exhausted, and having visited the sun bed salon 6 times.
Err is it me or does this sound oo well rehearsed?

Stilts
 
#19
STILTS said:
callum13 said:
"Aye lad, got kicked out THE regiment because i took on half of B squadron so i did"

*buying a pint while in North face get up and dessie boots/jeans,alarm on phone goes off at timed moment* "Sir, yes sir....Can you not get anyone from A squadron to do it?, Roger that boss on my way....Sorry mate i err have to go" *throws fiver at barman and legs it "keep the change mate (while phone in other hand) Johhny, yea its me dinger we got a job mate get the lads together"

*outside sound of car wheels screeching off*

proceed to come back 2 days later looking exhausted, and having visited the sun bed salon 6 times.
Err is it me or does this sound oo well rehearsed?

Stilts
Private Cal of the waltenkommando - been on the "how to identify the enemy" refresher course , we are trained in this. I will let your naievity slide this time...DUN DUN DUM!

Cal
 

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