If you were a soap scriptwriter ........

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Taffnp, Feb 23, 2009.

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  1. Sat here with the big night of Corrie and Bellenders in the background.

    If you were appointed scriptwriter of either, or any soap what plots would you introduce to boost ratings ?

    To start the ball rolling

    Some Chavs venture into Dot's laundrette rob her and stuff her in the tumble dryer

    The koomars suicide bomb the vic
  2. Alien invasion. 8)
  3. Attack of giant dancing robots
  4. Pat Butcher starts her own brothel

    Instead of Pats Cars, it's Pat's Flaps
  5. Corrie. The post-operative tranny Hayley would have had her bits frozen, she has them thawed out and sewn back on and starts screwing Beckie from Roys caff.

    Not that I ever watch it of course. cough.
  6. Ken takes Deirdre dor a walk and they bump into his bit on the side, they all go back to her barge have a few bottles of wine and passion overtakes them, then they indulge in a 3 some
  7. Koomars suicide bomb the Vic!

    It just had to be said didnt it!
  8. no no no. what happens is, Ken takes Deidre and the dog for a walk and they bump into his bit on the side, they all go back to the barge, have a few bottles of wine, Deidre blows the dog and gives the bit on the side a good licking out, and then Ken shags all three of em, or something like that.
  9. Catastrophic climate change causes the sea level to rise by 60 metres. The inland sea created by floodwater is populated by killer whales, sharks and jellyfish. The characters construct a floating city and for a while everything goes well, but as food dwindles, sectarian violence and cannibalism become endemic.
  10. A bird with big tits.
  11. I would arrange for the mother of all crossovers in which the cast of every single soap star in one episode together.

    Simultaneously I would be informing every terrorist organisation in the world that a single bomb would cause more fear and disruption than any amount of hijackings and/or transport/landmark interfaces.
  12. I'd introduce lots of storylines where they're all watching the champions league and it would actually be the live match ! That way she's watching her soap and I'm watching the footy and we're not frikkin having a row !
  13. Can I have £10 at 9/1 on this going to the hole by midnight please? :D
  14. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    Dirty Den wades into the Queen Vic with a Gimpy & opens fire! "Take that you slags.....!!)
  15. I'll see your bird with big tits, and raise you 2 birds with massive tits.