If you went 'postal' what would you use?

I've been looking at the L9a1 thread this morning and a mong at work had a hissy fit because it featured pictures of handguns and upset their delicate sensibilities.

Just to annoy the cock further please tell me what weapon you would use to clear an office full of useless pricks. Please post pictures so I can watch the throbber have a heart attack.

I'm unable to post pictures from work but was thinking of a Minimi with enough link for the job and lump hammer for up close work.


Book Reviewer
Can I use an Apache? (No, not the North American Indian)


War Hero
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
The Franking machine from the post room.... right not that type of postal. Just beat them over the head with it ;-)
Thanks ND, that's a possible for my new screensaver.
Fair on B and T. Wish granted but post results on YouTube.


Book Reviewer
As a Civil Servant, this is something that has often exercised my narrow little mind. I'd start off with a prelim of superglue or similar on their chairs, so the bastards couldn't escape, and would be forced to watch and listen. I'd begin with a few broken lower limbs, for those bastards who slam the doors in the accomodation, followed by kettles of boiling water in the groins of those who never take their turn to make the bloody tea. By then the screams will have reached a high level, so I'd be happy to start with a chainsaw on the extremities of those who pick their nose in public. As for those who are always eating, it would have to be poisoning by waterboarding them with rancid yoghurt until they finally expired. There wouldn't be many left by then (even in a big open plan area) but those who are left I would attach to ropes, and use as human conkers to see which one had the hardest skull. The last one left living (and I use that term very loosely) would then be killed by insertion of 5,000 packets of staples to cover every bit of skin so they would slowly bleed to death, in a Whitehall Mandarin version of the old Chinese favourite, the slow slash execution.

There, I feel better already :)
Why go yourself? I'll have my man do it for you...


Winchester 1200 - simple, reliable riot gun

I have to admit to a certain bias in favour of one of these as I have owned one for about 20 years and I am rather fond of it!


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