If you had your time again

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by TomSmytheUK, Jul 23, 2007.

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  1. What would you do/join. Whatever really. Also tell us why.


    The one best moment of your military careers.. This should be interesting.

  2. Definitely 49 Para.

    Although leading Smudger, Dinger and the other three hundred through the window off the balcony that day was admittedly a high point.

    Not a wah is it?
  3. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    I would undoubtably join my old regiment, The First Battalion The Queens Own Pansies ( Royal Special Herbaceous Borders), and the finest moment, the pinnacle of my career was without doubt the Operation Dahlia. I can't give you all the details, but it involved 26 SAS ( Special Antirrhinum Regiment) as a forward observation unit with us providing the shock troops. Ah, dear old Cecil Mincingly-Glide! he made the ultimate sacrifice that day.
  4. If I had a time machine I would go back and do it all again, with a few minor changes:

    I wouldn’t marry Mrs Cernunnos Mk 1, Mk 2 or Mk 4.

    I would be standing on the street corner where my Jack Russel died in a hit and run encounter with a Red VW Polo, with my .375 H&H Magnum rifle, instead of being in the back garden whistling for him!

    I probably wouldn’t shout “RSM Sir, I thought NSU was a vintage motorcycle make until I shagged your wife” across the mess at the CO’s dine-out.

    I would snot the living sh'it out of the scum bag insurance rep who once sold me a “ghost policy” in Paderborn.

    I wouldn’t have driven my new shiny Ford through that 80kph speed trap at 237 kph.

    I would save a bit more dosh and not blow all of it on lager and slags!

    I wouldn’t shag the old Danish bat in Spain who gave me my current dose.
  5. Hells Bells OFH you remember Tulip,
    by the way Are you out there captain
  6. let me delete I cannot help my stabing the key board drunk you know
  7. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Yes, fine chap. Everyone thought he was yellow, but he showed them he wasn't as green ast they thought. Really bloomed after a while. Could have been his time in Holland, working underground, of course. Once we weeded out the creepers then we were able to put on a good show. It very much nettled some of the bloomers!
  8. I wouldn't have shagged the mother/daughter combi on the ferry from Rotterdam to Hull - it was good at the time but they left me with a drippy dick :(

    My german girlfriend was not impressed :x
  9. funniest thing ever watching a mate , in kenya , beat down two prostitutes to 4.50 pound from a tenner for a lesbian sex show then finding out it was done in the pitche black around the back of a chemical toilet on the campsite
  10. I would have stayed in.

    Funniest moment, being bollocked by the razzman for not standing straight on a sloping parade ground...
  11. Well being a life long civilian I'd probably be a first class walt, I'd tell people I was an SAS Commando and start a web page called Dark Sword Avenger-SAS.com, then I'd dress up in full fatigues with a baige beret and calling myself Blair Mayne would try to pick up Essex girls.

    Then I'd come on here and make up stories about "When I was in Kuwait back in 91' I said to Andy McNab, I said...", when asked difficult questions my reply would be "Thats classified information, watch yourself".

    I'd also have a full arsenal of state-of-the art mail order crap and airsoft replicas.
  12. whats an SAS commando??
  13. I wouldn't change a thing, its not like i'm going to be any less of an arse!
  14. Thats classified information, watch yourself