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If you HAD to have something wrong with you.......

#1
......What would it be?

I quite fancied tourettes for reasons that have been discussed on here ad infinitum, but my latest is definitely Narcolepsy.

I watched Cutting edge on C4 last night and to be quite frank I don't see the downside.

There are no disturbing ticks, growths, huge foreheads, dribbling et al. You aren't going to die any earlier and you get loads of Gonk in a wide variety of public places.

I wasn't convinced until I heard about the amazing hallucinations that appear almost real.

Narcolepsy. Its for (sleeping) winners.
 
#2
MrShanklysboots said:
......What would it be?

I quite fancied tourettes for reasons that have been discussed on here ad infinitum, but my latest is definitely Narcolepsy.

I watched Cutting edge on C4 last night and to be quite frank I don't see the downside.

There are no disturbing ticks, growths, huge foreheads, dribbling et al. You aren't going to die any earlier and you get loads of Gonk in a wide variety of public places.

I wasn't convinced until I heard about the amazing hallucinations that appear almost real.

Narcolepsy. Its for (sleeping) winners.
LMAO.

I'd take something slow and painful, ebola should do. It's got to be better than this sh*t.

But knowing my luck I'd probably get re-incarnated as me.
 

Sixty

ADC
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#3
MrShanklysboots said:
Narcolepsy. Its for (sleeping) winners.

Really? That's what Sven had. Cut off your typing fingers as a penance.
 
#5
I suffer from narcolepsy it's a nightmabbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

oh, sorry about that.....drifted obbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

for a seconbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#7
Narcolepsy every time.

My missus was giving me the stare of death because I kept breaking down during that programme. Hysterical, the whole thing!

One part of me was thinking you LUCKY barstewards, getting all that gonk time whenever you feel like it, and boy, didn't they just look soooo comfy?

The very thought of a conference of sufferers actually trying to get things discussed and done had me in stitches.

What was just as funny was the 'bedtime' music playing throughout the program.
 
#8
I would quite like to have that excersise addiction along with a touch of OCD and a hint of nymphomania, that way I would be fit as fcuk, my house would be spotless and my husband be very very happy.
 
#9
A rectal prolapse would be an interesting reveal at Mess meetings :wink:
 

Bowmore_Assassin

LE
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#10
I'd like my Mrs to have nymphomania and I'd have the involuntary swearing bit of tourettes,

I can just imagine the one sided filthy talk from yours truly and the physical responses from the Mrs..
 
#11
D0lly86 said:
I would quite like to have that excersise addiction along with a touch of OCD and a hint of nymphomania, that way I would be fit as fcuk, my house would be spotless and my husband be very very happy.
I think we would all like our wives / gfs to be a bit like that!!!
 
#12
Prince_Rupert said:
MrShanklysboots said:
Narcolepsy. Its for (sleeping) winners.

Really? That's what Sven had. Cut off your typing fingers as a penance.
And he most definitely wasn't a winner.
 
#13
Apart from all the afflictions I already have, I'd go for psycopathy...tends to get you top jobs in gov and biz. You can also lead the rozzers on a merry dance before your pension plan kicks in!

Edited for: What pension plan? Nick, you gumbie. Roof over your head, food in mouth, constant entertainment, booze, drugs, sex if you are brave or desperate enough, no coucil tax...the list goes on. I should add that my chosen hotel wouldn't be in the UK. Sweden is rather civilised!!!!!
 
#14
I've already got fcuking tourettes, its fcuking gleaming you cnuts..............
 

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
#15
I fancy getting ADHD, the reason for thi....

oh, oh, oh, oh,

Look, quick, look,

A fire engine........neenaaar neenaar
 
#16
Compulsive lying and kleptomania, then I could get a government job!
 
#17
How about Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, bags of fun!
 
#18
Ritch said:
How about Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, bags of fun!
Sounds like a barrel of laughs that mate.

What is reflex sympathetic dystrophy (RSD)?

RSD is a condition which is not well understood, and is often difficult to diagnose. Its main feature is pain that is persistent and often has a burning quality. Mild forms of RSD are probably quite common: these get better without any special treatment. However, severe forms of RSD can be very disabling and difficult to treat.
Sounds like a couple of Ex Wives I've had actually....
 
#19
Crazy_Legs said:
D0lly86 said:
I would quite like to have that excersise addiction along with a touch of OCD and a hint of nymphomania, that way I would be fit as fcuk, my house would be spotless and my husband be very very happy.
I think we would all like our wives / gfs to be a bit like that!!!
most army wives are like that..... just not necessarily with the husband though....
 
#20
Priapism. Then I could say that my reputation went before me.
 

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