If you HAD to have something wrong with you.......

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by MrShanklysboots, Oct 10, 2008.

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  1. ......What would it be?

    I quite fancied tourettes for reasons that have been discussed on here ad infinitum, but my latest is definitely Narcolepsy.

    I watched Cutting edge on C4 last night and to be quite frank I don't see the downside.

    There are no disturbing ticks, growths, huge foreheads, dribbling et al. You aren't going to die any earlier and you get loads of Gonk in a wide variety of public places.

    I wasn't convinced until I heard about the amazing hallucinations that appear almost real.

    Narcolepsy. Its for (sleeping) winners.
  2. LMAO.

    I'd take something slow and painful, ebola should do. It's got to be better than this sh*t.

    But knowing my luck I'd probably get re-incarnated as me.
  3. Sixty

    Sixty LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Cyclists and Triathletes

    Really? That's what Sven had. Cut off your typing fingers as a penance.
  4. So THATS why his posts were so sleep inducing.......
  5. I suffer from narcolepsy it's a nightmabbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

    oh, sorry about that.....drifted obbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

    for a seconbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb
  6. Nymphomania - Fcuk me, that could be fun :D

    (I think I may regret typing that!)
  7. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Narcolepsy every time.

    My missus was giving me the stare of death because I kept breaking down during that programme. Hysterical, the whole thing!

    One part of me was thinking you LUCKY barstewards, getting all that gonk time whenever you feel like it, and boy, didn't they just look soooo comfy?

    The very thought of a conference of sufferers actually trying to get things discussed and done had me in stitches.

    What was just as funny was the 'bedtime' music playing throughout the program.
  8. I would quite like to have that excersise addiction along with a touch of OCD and a hint of nymphomania, that way I would be fit as fcuk, my house would be spotless and my husband be very very happy.
  9. A rectal prolapse would be an interesting reveal at Mess meetings :wink:
  10. Bowmore_Assassin

    Bowmore_Assassin LE Moderator Book Reviewer

    I'd like my Mrs to have nymphomania and I'd have the involuntary swearing bit of tourettes,

    I can just imagine the one sided filthy talk from yours truly and the physical responses from the Mrs..
  11. I think we would all like our wives / gfs to be a bit like that!!!
  12. Ord_Sgt

    Ord_Sgt RIP

    And he most definitely wasn't a winner.
  13. Apart from all the afflictions I already have, I'd go for psycopathy...tends to get you top jobs in gov and biz. You can also lead the rozzers on a merry dance before your pension plan kicks in!

    Edited for: What pension plan? Nick, you gumbie. Roof over your head, food in mouth, constant entertainment, booze, drugs, sex if you are brave or desperate enough, no coucil tax...the list goes on. I should add that my chosen hotel wouldn't be in the UK. Sweden is rather civilised!!!!!
  14. I've already got fcuking tourettes, its fcuking gleaming you cnuts..............
  15. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    I fancy getting ADHD, the reason for thi....

    oh, oh, oh, oh,

    Look, quick, look,

    A fire engine........neenaaar neenaar