If you had a terminal disease - terminal illness wishes!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Bravo2nothing, Oct 10, 2008.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. I was reading about how that old duffer Wendy Richard (Pauline from 'benders) is getting married as she has terminal cancer. Whilst I sympathise with her for her illness, it might learn the old cunt a lesson for imposing that evil bitch Pauline Fowler upon us for so long.

    I was then thinking - she's getting married. She's dying and the best she can come up with is to get married. If I had terminal cancer I'd be planning to take the piss. I would be robbing banks, deflowering virgins (preferably those earmarked for Muslims) and generally abusing the system. I thought how much I'd like to steal a car, flash my cock at the Queen (God Bless her), ram the gates of Downing Street with a Challenger tank and fist fuck the wide mouth frog.

    It did disturb me how twisted some of my terminal illness wishes were but I am sure you can beat it.

    Throw me jail, I'll be dead soon.....
  2. Drugs, lots of drugs.

    Then getting my ex-wives to lick my brown pipe during a last gasp injury time BJ from Kylie.
  3. id want to be raped by anne robinson just as i snuffed it.
  4. I'd like to NOT be in the next bed to jade Fcuking Goody!
  5. So you'd rather be in the SAME bed? You sick fcuk!
  6. A Rifle and a good vantage point.
  7. BrunoNoMedals

    BrunoNoMedals LE Reviewer

    A Challey and a council estate.
  8. Bucket of Sunshine and Parliment.
  9. Fookin' Goth! :D
  10. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    i would wish for Gordon Brown to join me on my last journey to hell. But his being alot more painful than mine.
  11. If I was to be offered the choice of which fatal disease I had to die from, and I really had to pick one, it would be AIDS.

    Then I'd go round male raping every c*nt I didn't like.
  12. i'd make Gordo Broon follow me on my journey...

    Although, jumping off a skyscraper with my legs crossed, reading a paper and shouting "WOT WOT OLD FELLOWS IT'S A BLOODY GOOD DAY FOR A JUMP ISN'T IT?" is close on the list
  13. Good for your physique too,you'd be able to scoff pies with reckless abandon.
  14. My poor pal, Cam was diagnosed with cancer of everything and was told "3 months and that's it Mr B"
    So he went out and bought a pretty decent set of wheels and went off driving thru all the Gatso cameras he could find.
    After a while, the court fines started coming in; Would he agree to go for retraining "Yes, why not, what a good idea, I need it, that'll come in useful in the future etc"
    Anyway, almost 3 months to the day, he did hand in his dinner pail and had a stack of these retest / training things pending. I didn't like to ask his Widow how many there were but I believe it was a decent number :lol:

    edit: mong spelling