If you had a terminal disease - terminal illness wishes!

#1
I was reading about how that old duffer Wendy Richard (Pauline from 'benders) is getting married as she has terminal cancer. Whilst I sympathise with her for her illness, it might learn the old cunt a lesson for imposing that evil bitch Pauline Fowler upon us for so long.

I was then thinking - she's getting married. She's dying and the best she can come up with is to get married. If I had terminal cancer I'd be planning to take the piss. I would be robbing banks, deflowering virgins (preferably those earmarked for Muslims) and generally abusing the system. I thought how much I'd like to steal a car, flash my cock at the Queen (God Bless her), ram the gates of Downing Street with a Challenger tank and fist fuck the wide mouth frog.

It did disturb me how twisted some of my terminal illness wishes were but I am sure you can beat it.

Throw me jail, I'll be dead soon.....
 
#2
Drugs, lots of drugs.

Then getting my ex-wives to lick my brown pipe during a last gasp injury time BJ from Kylie.
 

BrunoNoMedals

LE
Kit Reviewer
#7
theiftaker said:
A Rifle and a good vantage point.
A Challey and a council estate.
 
#9
The cure.
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#11
i would wish for Gordon Brown to join me on my last journey to hell. But his being alot more painful than mine.
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#12
If I was to be offered the choice of which fatal disease I had to die from, and I really had to pick one, it would be AIDS.

Then I'd go round male raping every c*nt I didn't like.
 
#13
i'd make Gordo Broon follow me on my journey...


Although, jumping off a skyscraper with my legs crossed, reading a paper and shouting "WOT WOT OLD FELLOWS IT'S A BLOODY GOOD DAY FOR A JUMP ISN'T IT?" is close on the list
 
#14
Biscuits_AB said:
If I was to be offered the choice of which fatal disease I had to die from, and I really had to pick one, it would be AIDS.

Then I'd go round male raping every c*nt I didn't like.
Good for your physique too,you'd be able to scoff pies with reckless abandon.
 
#15
My poor pal, Cam was diagnosed with cancer of everything and was told "3 months and that's it Mr B"
So he went out and bought a pretty decent set of wheels and went off driving thru all the Gatso cameras he could find.
After a while, the court fines started coming in; Would he agree to go for retraining "Yes, why not, what a good idea, I need it, that'll come in useful in the future etc"
Anyway, almost 3 months to the day, he did hand in his dinner pail and had a stack of these retest / training things pending. I didn't like to ask his Widow how many there were but I believe it was a decent number :lol:


edit: mong spelling
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#16
Random_Task said:
Biscuits_AB said:
If I was to be offered the choice of which fatal disease I had to die from, and I really had to pick one, it would be AIDS.

Then I'd go round male raping every c*nt I didn't like.
Good for your physique too,you'd be able to scoff pies with reckless abandon.
Winner all round then.
 
#18
Thanks Cam, have been chuckling away for 3 minutes at this


happybonzo said:
My poor pal, Cam was diagnosed with cancer of everything and was told "3 months and that's it Mr B"
So he went out and bought a pretty decent set of wheels and went off driving thru all the Gatso cameras he could find.
After a while, the court fines started coming in; Would he agree to go for retraining "Yes, why not, what a good idea, I need it, that'll come in useful in the future etc"
Anyway, almost 3 months to the day, he did hand in his dinner pail and had a stack of these retest / training things pending. I didn't like to ask his Widow how many there were but I believe it was a decent number :lol:


edit: mong spelling
 
#19
Is it allowed to ask that Im killed not by the disease but by a falling Gordon Brown while passing under a tall building?
 

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