If you had 5 mins with gordon

#2
Not Hannah Gordon, then? Shame, that would have been much more interesting.

I might even have lasted 5 minutes...
 
#3
Ice-axe through the left temple and then spend the remaining 4.59 getting a brew on.
 
#4
I'd keep slugging him is his good eye until it swelled up and then lead him to the window.

MsG
 
#5
Stick a dozen T-bone steaks around his neck, maybe draw a little blood and then let this beast loose after him.
Woof!
 
#8
If I had to spend 5 seconds with the tw@t I would have to top myself, 5 minutes I would have been dead for 4:55 lying, one eyed rubber faced cnut.
 
#9
I think he should be made to read the letter to Mum from the young rifleman that died recently and then slowly peel off all his skin and immerse him in a large bag of coarse sea salt.
 
#11
smartascarrots said:
Not Hannah Gordon, then? Shame, that would have been much more interesting.

I might even have lasted 5 minutes...
Hannah Gordon ........... isn't she dead yet?

Not that something like death would necessarily stop some of the people that post here from having their wicked way with her decaying corpse. :evil:
 

mysteron

LE
Book Reviewer
#12
One round, one kill. The remaining 4:59 spent texting the world the good news.

I would also have to put my suit on as HM The Queen will probably give me a knighthood to boot.
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#14
Harsh chaps harsh.

I would spend the 5 minutes with him tied up nice and tight while I read him the MOD version of Vogon Poetry. The names of all those killed since he'd been made Chancellor. It might take longer than five minutes of course.

At the end, I'd stab him in his remaining eye with a food blender, using his skull as the blending bowl.
 
#16
Biped said:
Harsh chaps harsh.

I would spend the 5 minutes with him tied up nice and tight while I read him the MOD version of Vogon Poetry. The names of all those killed since he'd been made Chancellor. It might take longer than five minutes of course.

At the end, I'd stab him in his remaining eye with a food blender, using his skull as the blending bowl.
You would be wasting your breath Biped.
You really think he would give a toss?
I think, on balance, that I would be content with my previously stated plan. That or simply give him the piano wire/ lampost treatment which is probably as much dignity as h deserves.
 
#18
Bit of prep needed firstly,
Fly him mil business class to somewhere hot, dusty, and under developed
Give him the same kit as an average soldier gets
then put him in the back of a Snatch(guess there are some still there)
Put him on top cover longest 5 minutes of his life in Sangin valley
failing available Snatch,
Foot patrol in Helmand out of one of the FoBs, doubt he'd last 5 minutes
 
#19
I'd strap him securely onto the front of a Snatch and using a remote control, drive him at a leisurely pace through Helmand whilst the names of the dead are played repeatedly on his Ipod.

Failing that I'd just skin the one eyed twat alive and dip him in boiling vinegar.
 
#20
Put him in a quiet corner at Wootton Bassett and give him time to reflect....

Either that or 5 mins driving a "fit for purpose" Snatch out in the badlands.

P-T
 

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