If you had 5 mins with gordon

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Pmason, Jul 21, 2009.

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  1. What would you do with him ?
  2. Not Hannah Gordon, then? Shame, that would have been much more interesting.

    I might even have lasted 5 minutes...
  3. Ice-axe through the left temple and then spend the remaining 4.59 getting a brew on.
  4. I'd keep slugging him is his good eye until it swelled up and then lead him to the window.

  5. Stick a dozen T-bone steaks around his neck, maybe draw a little blood and then let this beast loose after him.
  6. Take him on foot patrol.....

  7. Body,body,head (and repeat) until tired.
  8. If I had to spend 5 seconds with the tw@t I would have to top myself, 5 minutes I would have been dead for 4:55 lying, one eyed rubber faced cnut.
  9. I think he should be made to read the letter to Mum from the young rifleman that died recently and then slowly peel off all his skin and immerse him in a large bag of coarse sea salt.
  10. Why bother? If the girl can't keep up then its her problem, not yours.
  11. Hannah Gordon ........... isn't she dead yet?

    Not that something like death would necessarily stop some of the people that post here from having their wicked way with her decaying corpse. :evil:
  12. mysteron

    mysteron LE Book Reviewer

    One round, one kill. The remaining 4:59 spent texting the world the good news.

    I would also have to put my suit on as HM The Queen will probably give me a knighthood to boot.
  13. Cut the b@stard into inch thick slices with a chainsaw, starting at the feet.
  14. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Harsh chaps harsh.

    I would spend the 5 minutes with him tied up nice and tight while I read him the MOD version of Vogon Poetry. The names of all those killed since he'd been made Chancellor. It might take longer than five minutes of course.

    At the end, I'd stab him in his remaining eye with a food blender, using his skull as the blending bowl.
  15. I'd remind him of the fun we had before the beard.