If you could would you own a Lion?

Would you buy a wild animal?

  • Yes, preferably something massive like an elephant

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Yes, something fierce and tiger like

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Yes, something that eats leaves like a giraffe (I hate trimming the hedge)

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Yes, a shark to make bath-time interesting

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Yes, an aardvaark because I want to be different.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • No, the only wild animals I want to have should be stuffed and mounted.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Yes, but I live in a flat, can I get something small?

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • No, I'm allergic.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    0
#1
In the past (not so much at the moment) the issue of the laws governing the keeping of wild animals have been discussed.

If these laws were relaxed would you buy and own a lion/tiger/polar bear etc.? Would it be for sporting purposes (chav hunting) or protection of yourself and family? i.e. "Wake up, there's noises coming from downstairs" "RELEASE THE POLAR BEAR" Two minutes later job done and back to sleep.

Should any animals be banned; ie. rhinos because they're (not so) easily concealed, rabbits due to rate of breeding, low velocity animals (sloths, tortoises etc.)?

Reckon it would reduce our murder rate? Increase? Increased number of people eaten? (70% of the police would wish to be armed, if everyone had a lion).

Which kind of wild animals would you keep and why?



PS Thanks Crabby!
 
#3
oh the possibilities.....
 
#4
A tiger, so that me and my hetero tiger pet can go two's up on the postman.

Just so that we can assert out masculinity of course ;)
 
#5
After playing Yeti Golf whilst bored at work I've always wanted a flamingo. Much more interesting than a normal golf club
 
#6
Tartan_Terrier said:
In the past (not so much at the moment) the issue of the laws governing the keeping of wild animals have been discussed.

If these laws were relaxed would you buy and own a lion/tiger/polar bear etc.? Would it be for sporting purposes (chav hunting) or protection of yourself and family? i.e. "Wake up, there's noises coming from downstairs" "RELEASE THE POLAR BEAR" Two minutes later job done and back to sleep.

Should any animals be banned; ie. rhinos because they're (not so) easily concealed, rabbits due to rate of breeding, low velocity animals (sloths, tortoises etc.)?

Reckon it would reduce our murder rate? Increase? Increased number of people eaten? (70% of the police would wish to be armed, if everyone had a lion).

Which kind of wild animals would you keep and why?



PS Thanks Crabby!
I did what now?

Oh and I'd have a lion - I've always wanted to be a lion tamer :D, much more exciting than accounting
 
#7
Death_Rowums said:
A tiger, so that me and my hetero tiger pet can go two's up on the postman.

Just so that we can assert out masculinity of course ;)
My postman is a post girlie - and she's nae twa bad. no wonder my two wild animals go all soft when she brings parcels.
 
#8
Owning a chimp would be brilliant, nights out on the pish would be legendary. Can you imagine the fun of letting a chimp, tanked up on Snakebite and viagra, loose in a night club full of scantily clad dori, or the trip to the kebab van afterwards?
Yeh, put me down for a chimp, oh, and an otter, otters rock!
 
#9
Can we have mythical creatures?

I've always fancied shouting 'Release my flying monkeys Smithers, Fly my pretties, Fly' and actually having flying monkeys being released, its no good shouting a phrase like that and having nothing happen.

Can penguins be trained to attack? (like in Batman) Jet propelled, flying suicide penguins could liven up a range day.
 
#10
sandmanfez said:
Owning a chimp would be brilliant, nights out on the pish would be legendary. Can you imagine the fun of letting a chimp, tanked up on Snakebite and viagra, loose in a night club full of scantily clad dori, or the trip to the kebab van afterwards?
Yeh, put me down for a chimp, oh, and an otter, otters rock!
Or you could just take a para on the lash wth you.
 
#11
sandmanfez said:
Owning a chimp would be brilliant, nights out on the pish would be legendary. Can you imagine the fun of letting a chimp, tanked up on Snakebite and viagra, loose in a night club full of scantily clad dori, or the trip to the kebab van afterwards?
Yeh, put me down for a chimp, oh, and an otter, otters rock!
Release the chimp...
 
#12
surely every mans dream is to have sharks with frickin lazer beams on their heads

If you do own a wild creature do you have to have one of those signs that tells intruders that if you step into my property you will be eaten?

Anyone seen any funny ones on the net or ebay that I could get my hands on.

Get a "beware of uncaged lion within" and put it on the RSMs door.
 
#13
For those of you seeking something unusual, with good defensive and protective traits, to keep the Chavs away, but want something slightly smaller than a Rhino, try a Cassowary

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cassowary

Very nasty bird, second biggest in Australia and has a distinct hatred for humans, quite dangerous and will sort the Chavs out, ask any aussies who have been chased by them/ had a pitt bull killed by one etc
 
#14
sandmanfez said:
Owning a chimp would be brilliant, nights out on the pish would be legendary. Can you imagine the fun of letting a chimp, tanked up on Snakebite and viagra, loose in a night club full of scantily clad dori, or the trip to the kebab van afterwards?
Yeh, put me down for a chimp, oh, and an otter, otters rock!
I am with you S'M'F' a chimp is the obviouse choice, especially since it can hurl its own sh1t at the neighbours and they have the same effect as little fluffy dogs on the women without making you look like a fag 8)
 
#15
Slates said:
sandmanfez said:
Owning a chimp would be brilliant, nights out on the pish would be legendary. Can you imagine the fun of letting a chimp, tanked up on Snakebite and viagra, loose in a night club full of scantily clad dori, or the trip to the kebab van afterwards?
Yeh, put me down for a chimp, oh, and an otter, otters rock!
I am with you S'M'F' a chimp is the obviouse choice, especially since it can hurl its own sh1t at the neighbours and they have the same effect as little fluffy dogs on the women without making you look like a fag 8)
Aye. That chimp made Michael Jackson look so much harder. :roll:
 
#16
A panther or a mountain lion.

But only so that I can put a sign up on the gate that says "Beware of the cat".
 
#17
theoriginalphantom said:
Can penguins be trained to attack? (like in Batman) Jet propelled, flying suicide penguins could liven up a range day.
Dude, have you not seen madagascar??? :?
 
#18
Lairdx said:
Slates said:
sandmanfez said:
Owning a chimp would be brilliant, nights out on the pish would be legendary. Can you imagine the fun of letting a chimp, tanked up on Snakebite and viagra, loose in a night club full of scantily clad dori, or the trip to the kebab van afterwards?
Yeh, put me down for a chimp, oh, and an otter, otters rock!
I am with you S'M'F' a chimp is the obviouse choice, especially since it can hurl its own sh1t at the neighbours and they have the same effect as little fluffy dogs on the women without making you look like a fag 8)
Aye. That chimp made Michael Jackson look so much harder. :roll:
Good point old chap....... :oops:
 
#19
#20
I was thinking of a big cat, but after reading the chimp idea Ive been swayed. An Orangutan like Clint has in 'Every which way but loose' would be mega!!
 

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