If you could would you own a Lion?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Tartan_Terrier, Jun 13, 2006.

  1. Yes, preferably something massive like an elephant

  2. Yes, something fierce and tiger like

  3. Yes, something that eats leaves like a giraffe (I hate trimming the hedge)

  4. Yes, a shark to make bath-time interesting

  5. Yes, an aardvaark because I want to be different.

  6. No, the only wild animals I want to have should be stuffed and mounted.

  7. Yes, but I live in a flat, can I get something small?

  8. No, I'm allergic.


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  1. In the past (not so much at the moment) the issue of the laws governing the keeping of wild animals have been discussed.

    If these laws were relaxed would you buy and own a lion/tiger/polar bear etc.? Would it be for sporting purposes (chav hunting) or protection of yourself and family? i.e. "Wake up, there's noises coming from downstairs" "RELEASE THE POLAR BEAR" Two minutes later job done and back to sleep.

    Should any animals be banned; ie. rhinos because they're (not so) easily concealed, rabbits due to rate of breeding, low velocity animals (sloths, tortoises etc.)?

    Reckon it would reduce our murder rate? Increase? Increased number of people eaten? (70% of the police would wish to be armed, if everyone had a lion).

    Which kind of wild animals would you keep and why?

    PS Thanks Crabby!
  2. Another women, (perferable wild and nubile) to keep my wife on her toes!
  3. oh the possibilities.....
  4. A tiger, so that me and my hetero tiger pet can go two's up on the postman.

    Just so that we can assert out masculinity of course ;)
  5. After playing Yeti Golf whilst bored at work I've always wanted a flamingo. Much more interesting than a normal golf club
  6. I did what now?

    Oh and I'd have a lion - I've always wanted to be a lion tamer :D, much more exciting than accounting
  7. My postman is a post girlie - and she's nae twa bad. no wonder my two wild animals go all soft when she brings parcels.
  8. Owning a chimp would be brilliant, nights out on the pish would be legendary. Can you imagine the fun of letting a chimp, tanked up on Snakebite and viagra, loose in a night club full of scantily clad dori, or the trip to the kebab van afterwards?
    Yeh, put me down for a chimp, oh, and an otter, otters rock!
  9. Can we have mythical creatures?

    I've always fancied shouting 'Release my flying monkeys Smithers, Fly my pretties, Fly' and actually having flying monkeys being released, its no good shouting a phrase like that and having nothing happen.

    Can penguins be trained to attack? (like in Batman) Jet propelled, flying suicide penguins could liven up a range day.
  10. Or you could just take a para on the lash wth you.
  11. Release the chimp...
  12. surely every mans dream is to have sharks with frickin lazer beams on their heads

    If you do own a wild creature do you have to have one of those signs that tells intruders that if you step into my property you will be eaten?

    Anyone seen any funny ones on the net or ebay that I could get my hands on.

    Get a "beware of uncaged lion within" and put it on the RSMs door.
  13. For those of you seeking something unusual, with good defensive and protective traits, to keep the Chavs away, but want something slightly smaller than a Rhino, try a Cassowary


    Very nasty bird, second biggest in Australia and has a distinct hatred for humans, quite dangerous and will sort the Chavs out, ask any aussies who have been chased by them/ had a pitt bull killed by one etc
  14. I am with you S'M'F' a chimp is the obviouse choice, especially since it can hurl its own sh1t at the neighbours and they have the same effect as little fluffy dogs on the women without making you look like a fag 8)
  15. Aye. That chimp made Michael Jackson look so much harder. :roll: