If you could meet your 14 year old self.......

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by postman_twit, Jun 11, 2011.

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  1. What three pearls of life's accrued wisdom would you impart to them?

    Mine would be:

    1. Never drink anything alcoholic with blackcurrant added to it.

    2. Don't get married til you're at least 30.

    3. Don't waste any money, sweat and tears following the England football team anytime after Italia 90.

    Not a lot to impart but each one is a hard learned lesson.
  2. 1. Don't get caught stealing Railwayana.
    2. Screw EVERYTHING that walks.
    3. Kill Afghan Kandak at the earliest opportunity.
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  3. My 14 year old self would probably slap me round the back of the head for being a boring, pontificating, old twat.
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  4. I know what you mean. The older me would mutter 'and get a haircut' whilst the younger me flicked Vs at the fat, bald, old git!
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  5. By an odd coincidence, that'd probably be what I'd do to my 14 year old self.

    Oh, and tell him not to believe all that crap about masturbation.
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  6. 1. Never get married shag any thing but always walk away

    2. Never listen to a sprog officer when in a contact in Basra

    3. Save money and not piss it up the wall
  7. 1. Don,t put junior guardsman as your third choice.

    2. Don,t trust the sergeant at the AFCO {ACIO as it was then}

    3. Don,t believe anyone who says that you always get one of your first two choices.
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  8. 1. Your dad actually is right about most things and you'll spout his words of wisdom in some years time

    2. Don't start smoking

    3. Save 1-2 days pay every month
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  9. 1. Gwars go like a train through a tunnel.

    2. Dont fuck want you cant fight.

    3. Never reply to a PTI that it was easy.
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  10. 1)Not to shag the older bird (17) you pull at a party in Parr, as she has crabs.:omfg:

    21 years later I'm itching at the thought of it.


    3) See point 2.

    4) Never think when facing some cunt with sharp pointy things "Oh yeah right, they're bluffing".
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  11. 1. Get a trade in the army preferably medic cos they make a bomb offshore are always in demand and do less work than me ( which is not alot)

    2. Stay in the full 22 yrs civvy strasse ain't all its cracked up to be.

    3. Drink in moderation
  12. 1. Never tell a woman the back of her head is her best side

    2. Never go back to the ex for a shag for old time's sake, it will end with five years of bunny boiling.

    3. When a small, fat GP wearing shocking red braces tells you that you're imagining the gut wrenching pain and that you are mental, you should definately head butt the fat cunt across the room before going to hospital and getting the blockage in your colon sorted out.
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  13. It's going to be alright.
  14. A good one Jarrod248,

    and it made me laugh.
  15. "Start a cult. You'll thank me for it, one day."